My ex...my mess...please help me!
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 09-18-2005 - 4:24pm |
Hello. I am in quite the mess. A mess of emotion!!
I was married to a charming and sexy guy for 6 years. He lied to me soooo many times nad just was so unstable. Well, everything finally caught up to him and he landed in jail!! He was in there about a year and I divorced him in the meantime. I met a new guy, one that I always wished he would be. Hard working, honest and stable.
Anyway, he gets out, meets a new girl and then contacts me!! I am living with the new guy and he is living with the new girl. BUT he denies living with her and insists on giving him another try. Well, I tried. I put money down on an apt. and that day, his new girl called me, she found my number on his bill and confirmed they are living together. Got my $ back and back with my BF. My BF and I have had some major problems even b-4 all of this.
He continues to call me and talk and we meet ( sometimes sex, but lately, I WON'T) He is getting married in a few weeks. I am married now too. Yes, to the BF. BUT the ex says he is getting married next year and I found out thru a relaible source it's in a few weeks. He asked me to run away with him and says he doesn't really love this girl and would rather be with me. Please understand that we did share a very strong bond and there was no closure to our ending as it eneded with him in jail. At that point, I was scared to ever trust him again!
He never really says anything nice about his fiance and I KNOW he does still love me. NOW, also....he messed up our credit when we were married and she has good credit, owns her own home, credit cards etc. She purchased 2 new vehicles for them, gave him credit cards, added him to her deed on her home, added him to her checking account, paid for him to wipe out his debt and get a drivers license again. These are all of things he wanted and his siblings all have these things. We could have, but he messesd up. He has changed things, like he doesn't lie and go drinking at the bar after work, holds a job, just really doesn't drink, drink and drink!! You get the picture, I hope!
He says if I ran away with him, it could be perfect b/c he would rather be with me BUT there are so many details to work out it seems so hard to do. Yes, he KNOWS I am married. I haven't lied to him about my relationship at all. MY relationship is rocky and has been for the longest time and even when I am NOT speaking to my ex, we have major issues.
He called me from his bachelor and her bachelorette party like 4 times. He says just a family get together, I heard different and I beleive the source. Does he love this girl? Why is he getting married? He says it was her that proposed it, not him. And I could kinda beleive that as I know people that do know her. He says he hates his sex life with her and never has sex. He knows that I won't, so not sure if that's the reason for all of this. WHAT DOES HE WANT??? I LOVE HIM TOO, BUT WHY IS HE DOING ALL OF THIS? I AM SO CONFUSED. MY MARRIAGE SUX TO BEGIN WITH...PLEASE HELP MW WITH THIS MESS!!!!! oh yeah, we have no kids.

Pages
I know that you are right and it helps me to see it from an outside perspective, Thank You.
He called me again yesterday and I said I would call him right back and I didn't, so this board is helping me to see it for what it really is.....unhealthy. The more I think about it, the more I see that "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior" and " a leopard cannot change his spots" so with that being said, I am happy that I no longer have to be burdened by guessing which story he tells is real and which one is a lie. I mean he would lie about everything, some things he had no reason to, and I see that he still is. Telling me he's getting married next year when in fact it's in a few weeks. That's just one of many lies I have already caught him in....what the heck is wrong with me???
Like I said before, it's probably my ego. Thanks so much for sharing...I appreciate it. I read your advice to other posts and I respect your opinion. You have really good advice for others and I know that what you say, you mean it!! Thanks again....
Pages