Is my relationship over?
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|Thu, 03-19-2009 - 1:19pm|
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. We've been seeing each other mainly on the weekends because we live about 30 minutes away from each other. About four months ago, I was questioning our future together and needed to some to figure out what I wanted. We took a break for about a month. When I initiated the break up, he confessed that he would have never dated me this long if he didn't think we had a future together. He said I was the only one for him. Funny how he never mentioned this before I initiated the break-up.
Although I've never suspected he was cheating on me, I've felt like he's kept me at arm's length for awhile now. We are both busy with full time jobs, and I realize that we're adults and not in high school...it would be hard for us to see each other everyday. We didn't start spending time together during the week until I got a job in his city...then it was convenient for him.
Like I said, I have been questioning our relationship for the past few months. I've been feeling like he's been hiding something from me, and recently he said he thinks he has social anxiety (which could be a definite possibility). I was concerned and ensured him that I wanted him to be happy and live a "normal" life and would do anything I could to help him through it. He didn't see his missing out on regular social interactions as a problem.
Recently I decided that I need to stop worrying about everything and do what makes ME happy. I think I've been too dependent on him to "complete" me. I lived at home with my parents all 4 years of college so that I could graduate and be debt free. It was always my dream to purchase a house of my own. I have a wonderful, satisfying job now and I'm completely self-sufficient and have an apartment of my own (I thought my moving out of my parents' house would bring my boyfriend and I closer). I have been looking at several houses here in my hometown and I am seriously thinking about purchasing one. I told my boyfriend about my plans, and he became very upset because I did not include him in my decision. He flat out REFUSES to live in my hometown because he says it's too much like his own. He thinks it's crazy for me to want to purchase a house 30 minutes away from where I work. I love my hometown and want to be close to my family. He says he thinks we're a lot like his own parents. His father moved to his mother's hometown and he says his dad has been miserable ever since (even though they have a wonderful relationship, home, and three great kids). He says he thinks if his dad knew then what he knows now, he would have never married his mom in the first place. This really upset me because every situation is unique. Just because this supposedly happened to his parents, it doesn't mean it's going to happen to us.