need advice!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2011
need advice!!!
7
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 10:52am
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 2:59pm

1. You should be wary of someone being SO into you so early on. You barely know one another. Make sure you keep that in perspective.

2. "I know when he gets busy he is not great about texting back" So stop texting and calling and wait for him to come to you.

You're still well within the period where things could either go well, or totally fall apart, and you really just don't know which yet. The best you can do is play it cool and try not to exert force or control. You must realize that he has to have enough room to show you how he really feels.

Please just remember that you're still getting to know one another. This may be the longest you've gone without talking, so far, but that doesn't mean anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2011
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 4:41pm

Yes, I know you are probably right. It's just hard because there were no warning signs at all. Up untill Saturday things were perfect. Even if he was out with his guy friends he would send me a text just to let me know he was thinking of me. Even as of Tuesday he was asking me to join a softball league with him. I just feel so blindsided and hate not being able to do anything. I would like some answers. If he did lose interest for some reason I would like to think that he would respect me enough to have a conversation about that with me and tell me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 5:50pm

Hon, there always has to be

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 11:07am

"I would like to think that he would respect me enough to have a conversation about that with me and tell me."

But people don't work like this. Naturally, we avoid things that are difficult, conversations like the one you're talking about. Even if he does respect you, he may not want to go through the motions of a full breakup with someone he's just started dating. I'm not going to assume that he's lost interest in you, because it hasn't been very long at all. But maybe he is feeling overwhelmed by the amount of contact he is expected to maintain. Relationships that start off really fast and hot tend to burn out very quickly. If I were in his position, I would probably, at some point, start resisting the urge to respond to every text message because it sets a precedent that he should be available to you 100% of the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2011
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 12:56pm

I agree with you, however HE is the one that initiates almost all texts (this situation aside). He sends follow up texts if I don't respond. I am not one to need a lot of contact but he has set the precedence that we talk every day - even if just through text. He gets anxious if I don't respond. Part of me is genuinely worried something happened to him. This is just so out of character.

I know these conversations are hard and it is easier to avoid them. I know we have not been dating that long but we see each other a few times a week, talk daily, have met each others friends, have clarified that we are not seeing anyone else. These are all things he initiated. Yes we are still getting to know each other but it is hardly a casual situation...and the situation is what it is due to HIS actions. It just doesn't add up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 1:20pm

"This is just so out of character."

No offense but dating two months, you have yet to learn the true nature of his character. This may be out of the ordinary for him so far, but part of why you're dating (I hope) is to get to know what his character is like, and whether or not disappearing for a couple days is actually part of who he is, or a sign that he's not into you.

I hope he has a good explanation!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 11:46pm
sb21383 wrote:

Yes, I know you are probably right. It's just hard because there were no warning signs at all. Up untill Saturday things were perfect. Even if he was out with his guy friends he would send me a text just to let me know he was thinking of me. Even as of Tuesday he was asking me to join a softball league with him. I just feel so blindsided and hate not being able to do anything. I would like some answers. If he did lose interest for some reason I would like to think that he would respect me enough to have a conversation about that with me and tell me.