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|Sat, 11-21-2009 - 4:40am|
I am at a point when I dont know what to do anymore. This might be a little longer but I will appreciate if you read it all and give me any advice.
Let me start by saying that I am 25 and have been through a lot in my life. All the situations made me into a very strong person who has hard times to open up and who cried in the bathroom on occasions. I have a male friend who has always be there for me and knows me like nobody else. Our friendship was always very special but weird at the same time. We would have sex on occasions but would never get more serious. I left for Europe a year ago and he came to visit me for twe weeks. Then 6 months later he came again and decided to stay and wait until I am ready to go home. Its been 3 months now. We have been having great time, traveling around Europe and Asia, going to parties and such. We have been sleeping in the same room and having sex pretty often. We even got to a point when we would start kissing which never happened before and became more intimate. We would touch each other more often and stuff liek that. Anyway, I am having a lot of problems and can be really bitchy at times. Sometimes I dont even realize it but I start putting my problems on other people and be getting upset over small things. Example, we went to a grocery store. I kept on asking my friend to pick what he wants to eat but he didnt know and turned him MP player on. So i had to repeat my questions at least 4 times so he could hear me. We ended up arguing and not talking for 2 days. ANother night was on Wednesday when we went out with my friends, got a little drunk, had a blast but on our way home he started talking about me how naive I am when it comes to guys and thats why I be taken for granted all the time. I really was not enjoying the convo and told him to shut up. He kept on talking though and it made me cry. He said I am too sensitive. We did not talk on Thursday so finally on Friday I asked him what is going on. He was ignoring me or saying nothing is wrong. I went to work and when I came home he was totally wasted. He started talking about me again saying I cant take no criticism and I get mad easily. That I disappointed him because he thought I was someone else. Yes, he was right about that. I apologized and he said he doesnt care for my apology. He said he doesnt want to be friends with me anymore because he cant talk to me about anything and I dont ever say anything to him. He also added that everytime we start talking I walk away and he is tired of that. I actually begged him to talk to me and to talk it over but he said there is nothing to say anymore and all we can be is associates.
I cried through the whole night. Now, I sent him an email asking him to give me a chance but i dont know if thats gonna work. I am truly devastated because I developed very deep feelings for him and dont want to lose him. I have no idea what to do anymore.