Need advice!!
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| Sun, 09-11-2005 - 7:06pm |
I gave posted a few discussion questions and would like to thank everyone for their advice.
ooookkk.
Is it normal that I feel extremely anxious when I don't hear from this guy I am talking to for a few days. The first time we dated I never felt that anxious, but since we started talking again i am anxious. I know it has to be because i am worried that he won't call ever again. I am the type of woman who does not need a phone call everyday.
Question 1. If I still feel this way after a couple of weeks should I just stop seeing this guy? I like him, but I hate the anxiety. Hopefully, as time goes by and we see each other more it will go away.
Question 2. The guy i have been talking to has a personal add online and it is active. HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND AND WE CAN DATE WHOEVER WE WANT. It does bother me a little because if he going on dates with other women and having a nice time. I know he likes me and we have a good time together. why doesn't he just do it with me. I KNOW WE ARE NOT SERIOUS. We do have sex and if he sleeping with the girls he meets online(or in general) do I have the right to know. How do I ask without making him think I am trying to pin him down. I am not gonna let him know that I know he has a personal ad. Wouldn't you know it that the description of the girl he is looking for is me!!! :)
Question 3. Seriously. I do have feelings for this guy and would like to see him become my boyfriend. Is there a rule about how long you date someone before you talk about only seeing each other. It's been about a month since we started seeing each other again. I think that about 2-4 more months of talking and seeing each other until we talk about being boyfriend and girlfriend. AM I WRONG?
Question 4. We do fun things togther, but have not done the fancy restaurant thing together. I would like to do that. How do I bring that up? Can I ask him out? But I want him to pay.:)
Question 5. Last question. I burned him a coldplay cd and he has never mentioned it or said thank you. I wasn't able to hand it to him. I put it by his cell phone and left him a message leting him know I left the cd for him. Do you think that it freaked him out? I proably should have burned him a Guns and roses cd.
Thank you.
PS. If anyone would like to be my dating mentor let me know. I have basically no experience. Thats why this post is soooo long.

Question 1. If I still feel this way after a couple of weeks should I just stop seeing this guy? I like him, but I hate the anxiety. Hopefully, as time goes by and we see each other more it will go away.
I think that when you solve question 2, question 1 will no longer be an issue.
Question 2. The guy i have been talking to has a personal add online and it is active. HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND AND WE CAN DATE WHOEVER WE WANT. It does bother me a little because if he going on dates with other women and having a nice time. I know he likes me and we have a good time together. why doesn't he just do it with me. I KNOW WE ARE NOT SERIOUS. We do have sex and if he sleeping with the girls he meets online(or in general) do I have the right to know. How do I ask without making him think I am trying to pin him down. I am not gonna let him know that I know he has a personal ad. Wouldn't you know it that the description of the girl he is looking for is me!!! :)
If you're not serious, he's not your boyfriend, and you can date whoever you want - you have no right to know who else he's sleeping with. If you want to be the only one he sleeps with, then you need to have the commitment thing happening. At this point, you may only be a booty call for him.
Question 3. Seriously. I do have feelings for this guy and would like to see him become my boyfriend. Is there a rule about how long you date someone before you talk about only seeing each other. It's been about a month since we started seeing each other again. I think that about 2-4 more months of talking and seeing each other until we talk about being boyfriend and girlfriend. AM I WRONG?
I don't think there's a rule. Every man I've ever dated has immediately made me his "one and only". If you want to have him as boyfriend, tell him that you aren't enjoying this casual thing. Tell him that it makes you feel uneasy and unsure of where you're headed. If he wants to be your boyfriend, he'll commit rather than loose you. However, if he stresses that he doesn't want to settle down right now, it means that you're a booty call and he has no intentions of making you a girlfriend.
Question 4. We do fun things togther, but have not done the fancy restaurant thing together. I would like to do that. How do I bring that up? Can I ask him out? But I want him to pay.:)
If you ask him out, you should pay. However after you discuss question 3 with him, this should sort itself out. He'll either be your boyfriend and want to do proper dates - or he'll have made it clear that he has no intention of formally dating you. I'm also hoping that you are only wanting him to pay for *some* dates. Having a girlfriend who wants you to pay for everything would get very old, very quickly.
Question 5. Last question. I burned him a coldplay cd and he has never mentioned it or said thank you. I wasn't able to hand it to him. I put it by his cell phone and left him a message leting him know I left the cd for him. Do you think that it freaked him out? I proably should have burned him a Guns and roses cd.
LOL. It doesn't matter what the music choice was as long as it's what he enjoys. Perhaps he didn't find the CD. Or someone stole it. Ask him if he got it and if he likes it. However, if he *did* get it and didn't mention it, I would lay money that he has no intention of making you his girlfriend.
Remember when you're really dating someone that in the beginning, your actions (i.e. doing something nice for him) should initially be RECIPROCATIONS to what he has done for you. Not keeping score, just responding to his actions rather than putting effort into something that's just not there.
Good luck. Trust yourself.
Hello!
>>>>> i know we are just friends but i would have like to finsih the sex he started... can someone help?????<<<<<
Don't have sex with him. Not worth it/ He is your FRIEND. It will ruin the realtionsip. Although, you are probably thinking it won't, but it will. If you and him are interested in pursuing a real relationship then go for it, but still hold off on the sex until you get to know him. I know you two have known each other for 13 years, but you need to get to know him on a different level.