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| Mon, 02-20-2006 - 11:48am |
I've been "with" this guy for almost 5 years, i'll call him Al. I say "with" because we really haven't been a couple. Him and I were friends from high school and I started hanging out with him after I left my ex-husband. We both agreed at the beginning that neither of us wanted a serious relationship. So for about 3 years it was "friends with benefits". Unfortunately I fell for him and he knew this. For the past two years I've been hoping that he would finally realize that he wanted to be with me as something more than friends. This past Thanksgiving I was back home visiting my dad (1 1/2 hrs away from my home) and ran into my ex-boyfriend from high school, i'll call him Tom. We hit it off and he knew all the sweet things to say to me. After Thanksgiving I went home and Al told me that he thought we would be better as friends. I took it as a green light to start dating Tom. About a week later Al came to me and told me that he had made a mistake and that he couldn't imagine his life without me and that he wants to be with me. (Al does not know about Tom or that I was dating anyone) I had already started dating Tom and told Al that it wasn't fair for him to do that to me and that I needed time to think. It's been a month now and i've been dating Tom and i'm beginning to wonder if Tom is just a rebound guy. I have feelings for him and he is extremely good to me but i'm just not sure. We only have the weekends together and usually that time is going to the local bar and hanging out with his friends and then lying around watching TV all day Sunday. This past weekend all I could think of was Al and I began wondering if maybe I hadn't given him a chance to prove that he actually did want to be with me as more than friends. I feel like I just wrote him off because I had Tom on the side that I could date. How do I know which one I have the real feelings for? Al has more future potential career and stability wise but Tom says all the right things. Any advice and/or direction would be great!

....."This past weekend all I could think of was Al and I began wondering if maybe I hadn't given him a chance to prove that he actually did want to be with me as more than friends. I feel like I just wrote him off because I had Tom on the side that I could date."..... You gave him five years to figure it out, and not even in an exclusive relationship to begin with, it wasn't like you were putting the screws to him to decide anything.
kadee897...
PG thinks your question is easy to answer.
Ask yourself (HONESTLY) which of these two men (AL or TOM) you're happier with? I think the only reason TOM went from casual to serious with you was because...
...."you got serious with somebody else?"
Pianoguy