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| Fri, 11-18-2005 - 7:28pm |
I sorry if this is long and boring.......
I am 24 (25 in december) and I have been in a relationship with someone for over 3 yrs now. Weve been living togther for a little over 2 years now. I have a 6 yr old son who lives with us. He has 2 children Ive never met (yes you read that correctly...never met). He says they are not emotionally ready to meet me. 3 YEARS LATER!!!! He goes to visit them 2 nights aweek at thier house and until recently they didny even know I existed. Other than that things are okay. We talk about being togther long term......Which brings me to my point.
My best friend just got engaged to a guy shes been with a little over a year. She told me today. And instead of jumping for joy I broke down into uncontrollable sobs...What kind of friend am I?
So now after looking at my situation, am I dumb for putting all my eggs in a basket held by a guy who has children I have never met after 3 years?
This whole incident has not only made me feel like a crappy friend but like I am in a relationship that is going NOWHERE?
I am willing to take any and all advice no matter how rude.
POO

You can't be happy for your friend b/c you are unhappy with your life. At least, that's what I think. My friend got married last month but I couldn't be there for her emotionally for a good reason. My dh is suffering from a grave illness this whole entire year and I am clinically depressed.
You have talked about being together long term? The question is ... is your relationship going somewhere or nowhere? My heart goes out to you and I wish you happiness.
Did you tell your bf about the incident with your friend? Does he know that you're thinking this relationship is going nowwhere? Have you confronted him about the fact that you've been together for 3 years and yet have never met his children?
You really need to talk to him about this first and foremost. I'm not saying you should lay down an ultimatum or anything, but you need to make it known to him that you are affected by all of these things and that you're questioning your relationship. Only by speaking to him can you start to figure out if this relationship is actually going nowhere.
YOu two may just need to work through these issues. Alternatively it could be a go-nowhere relationship. But you'll never know if you don't have a really good talk with him. Other people's advice means absolutely nothing if you aren't communicating your fears and desires with your significant other- cause only you can figure out what you want, need and what you're getting from this man. And he deserves a chance to change or right his wrongs.