Need help PLEASE!!
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| Fri, 01-06-2006 - 3:30am |
Hello,
I'm in great need of some help in interpreting my recent experience and what things mean now. I'll just explain first that I am a 21 year old female and I have never been kissed, never been out with a guy, etc. Never done any of that. I'm very quiet and have had insecurity/self esteem issues so it has been easier for me to shy away from situations than find myself around new people. Well, I've been working on that over the years and things have started to change.
On New Year's Eve, I had a completely unpredictable night. I picked up my brother and his friend from a party. The friend had made small talk with me by asking me a few questions earlier on in the evening before they left for the party, and I knew him from highschool. I've never talked to him, but he'd been in a few of my classes (he's my age) and is a fairly good friend of my brother's.
So when I picked them up and the 3 of us were hanging out for awhile, I started to think maybe this guy was a little interested in me. I brushed it off from my mind though because I figured I was likely wrong. Well it turns out I wasn't wrong. I should also say that he was drunk. Not in an obscene, ridiculous way. Just in a way that said he wasn't afraid to talk to me, he voiced everything but he still seemed pretty calm. I think in general he's a bit more of a quieter guy.
So, the 2 of us ended up hanging out together for the rest of the night. We played pool, and he was definitely more interested in trying to talk to me than in playing pool. He'd sometimes get closer to me and I didn't know what to do and would move away. I was just nervous! Several times I'd move and he'd find me again. But it's not that I didn't want it. I did, I just didn't fully realize it at the time.
So eventually we were just sitting together, and he got up and then was looking right at me. He took his time, made sure I was comfortable and there were no surprises, and he eventually kissed me. After that we just sat together, made out a bit. He was very good at everything he did. From getting my attention in a good way at the beginning, to making me feel wanted, to kissing me well...everything was great.
We both kinda knew I think without saying that we were just having fun. We go to different schools, and I think he has already gone back to school. The thing is that my feelings got more attached than I thought they would. I don't have to start something up with him, but I wish I knew if he was a little interested now.
Since this was my first kiss, my first experience of the like, I was nervous and a little akward, and didn't know so well about what to do or what to say. Still, the whole thing went fairly well since he seemed to know what he was doing.
I waited a few days, and then decided I just wanted to thank him, to tell him that everything was really good - I wanted to compliment him because he had made everything so great, and I hadn't really done that in the moment, feeling nervous and distracted.
I tried to add him to my online list for msn, and that was 2 days ago, but he hasn't added me so I haven't been able to comunicate with him. Then 2 nights ago I sent him an e-mail. I realized I could just say how I felt that way, so I wrote a note thanking him, telling him how great everything was, and left it at that.
The problem is, I haven't heard from him. I know he is not some crazy guy who fools around with girl upon girl because I've asked about him. True, it was just something fun we did in the moment and it wasn't really something I think either of us thought about pursuing. But I would just like to know that he got my message.
I am just wondering why he isn't responding. I find it hard to believe he hasn't seen his computer screen at all in 2 days, although it's possible that it is the case. Again, all I did was to thank him. Is it expecting too much to want a response, or does it seem like he basically just wanted to leave things with that night only? Or maybe he's playing a game...is that possible? Or that he just finds it uncomfortable to write back. Maybe he just wants to avoid me.
I don't know, and it's driving me crazy that I don't know what he's thinking. I already had a friend send him a message online to tell him that I'd sent him an e-mail. That was all I did. I just wanted to make sure he would know I sent an e-mail. After that, I am not communicating anything else because I don't want to seem pushy.
I just don't get it...he seemed to really like me on that new year's eve night. Of course, he was trying to win me over so he could make out with me, but isn't it probable that the person has some kind of feeling for you? I did ask him near the end when we were still together if he was still drunk and he said, "Right now, I would say no."
I just wish I knew what he was thinking. He doesn't seem like the type of guy who would just be in it for the fun and then would not want to even talk to me afterwards. Maybe he really is busy, I don't know...or maybe it just was all alcohol talking. Is that possible? Like you can be kind of drunk and it makes it easier to say how you feel and not be so shy, but isn't that just a representation of the feelings you already had, drunk or not?
Anyways, any input would be greatly appreciated! Am I reading too much into things and it's just possible that he's really busy, or does he for seem reason not want to respond to me at all? Thanks everyone.

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