Need some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Need some advice
3
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 2:48pm
Well, I have been dating this guy for about a month and for the first couple of weeks it was great we talked all the time and spent the whole weekends togather but after those couple of weeks it has kinda went down hill as for as our time togather, he still treats me great but we only talk maybe once a week and I only see him like on Fridays. He has had a few things happen in the past couple of weeks and I understand that we can not talk everynight but there are other things like saying he is comming over and not showing up,or that he will call and I don't hear from him. I don't know I think maybe I am worring over nothing but for some reason it bothers me. He always appoligizes and I believe he is sorry. To top all that off he told me something that would scare most people off, he is bipolar and boarder line schizophrenic, he gets depressed easily especially with everything that has been going on and I may not hear from him for days and that is something I understand and can deal with when it comes to his problems, and I understand things alot better now that he told me this and I am glad he told me and it is not going to scare me off - I care about him alot. So I guess what I am asking about is it ok that I am upset when I don't hear from him or is this petty and childish and selfish and I should just get over it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 3:18pm
you're not selfish first of all. You want attention and you are entitled to that. Yes you should take his situation into consideration BUT don't forget to take into account what makes you happy. Also, you should really evaluate what a bipolar schizophrenic is about. It's really nothing that should be taken lightly. I mean if you can deal with it great but depending on the severit of his condition it can be a lot to handle. To be honest I feel that my ex b/f has bipolar and it's hard sometimes. I don't throw that condition around loosely either but my cousin is a Psychologist and agreed with this idea as well. Now that you know his situation you should really ask yourself if you want to continue a relationship with him despite the medical condition, staying with someone who doesnt give you the attention you want. Best of luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 4:12pm
This changes everything (regarding your other post). Saying "I love you" may be his way of trying to keep you around after you've seen his bad side. It also may just be a symptom of his disorder.
You need to put a good amount of thought into this relationship. Is this something you can see yourself dealing with. Dealing with psychological disorders is VERY difficult for any couple, muchless people who are still getting to know each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 10:15am
i think it is totally normal to be unhappy when u dont hear from ur guy...all girls are... and i really admire you for sticking beside your man and helping him through his depresion... that is such an unselfish thing to do...and iam sure with ur understanding and his trying you will work everything out...it is also good if u talk to him and tell him that you want more attention.... iam sure he will understand and give it to you.