Need some advice
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| Tue, 05-03-2005 - 11:47am |
ok, I have been away from my sons father for 4 1/2 yrs. I have had my son in therapy over his BS. Now, I am trying to be mature and do this parenting right by allowing my son to spend a month with his dad. Well, the problems we had before seem to be resurfacing. My son takes it hard when we argue but we argue whenever we talk. SO right now we are not talking but now he is saying comments to my son I think should be addressed. Like yesterday he is like "tell your mom I want a kiss" or another time tell her "I am ready to move back home" or "tell her I still love her".
For a long while my son thought it was my fault because I was the one to leave and his dad would say I he wanted us back together. Me not trying to give him all the details of the infiedlity, the arguing, the maddness. I just resolved it to my son we argue. Well his dad goes and says we will not argue. Yea next time I saw him it was the same thing. I am screwing half the world or I like women. Whatever to feed his ego that he is better off without me.
Well, with all this going on I am not trying to send my son back to therapy plus this is coming out my pocket. His dad does not pay child support (my choice so he can get on his feet and give him a chance to be a man and take care of him) so this is all funded by me. Should I put a halt on it again say forget the trip in July and cut the phone contact or should I try and talk to his dad first?


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Thanks Vicki, I am still listening to all input. I have decided that he can come back to KC. I am glad he has gotten himself together a bit since movine but also see that he is still caught up with me. Heck, I can understand because I still love this man myself and times get caught wanting us back. But, back is just that to me not moving forward.
Custody is another issue because I do not have court ordered custody. He does not know that but we still have 50/50 and at first that was an issue then this came up. Because TX has way different laws then MO. But, I do thank you because you have enlightened me on more.
His mom and sister do so much to keep him apart of the family. He has only been in TX for a few months but when he was here visitation was in and out mainly because of me and I do not think I was wrong for it. I will continue because I see my boys being an exception to many who have been through as much as they have and want to continue them on the road they are. They love going to church have much faith, great studnets and have open communication with me. They know I am into them and them growing so I will continue being what my son says "the best mom in the world" and go on.
Who could ask more, Marie, than a child who tells you, 'You are the best mom in the world'?
It slays me every time my son and daughters tell me that. I don't deserve it AT ALL. But, God, in His infinite wisdom, has chosen to bless me w/these children. They're on loan from God to me......I am having SO MUCH FUN with them that I pray I don't screw it up. He's given me (the one who never wanted children) such a WONDERFUL gift to enjoy--I'm so grateful, and I'm enjoying the blast that is them......
Stay the course. Your truth will be revealed.
Psalm 27, Psalm 31
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