Need some true advise..read my story

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Need some true advise..read my story
6
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 8:43pm

Hi,

I have been living with my boyfriend for 8 yrs..we both do not have any kids at all. My dad is in a nursing home and I visit my dad twice a week..I called for a cab to pick me up... so this nice cab driver from Morrocco picks me up and takes me home...he gave me his cell number anytime i need a ride home to call him so i been doing this for 3 months now.. i told him about my boyfriend and he told me that he is married and have 3 sons living in Morrocco. We started liking each other and we had sex a few times over his house..he lives alone. He is going to Morrocco to be with his family for a couple of months..he will be back in October 2009. On Friday he said that when his son comes to Washington, DC that he wants me to meet him. Today, he said I should come to Morrocco with him one day.. I said to him... where will i stay.. he said with him and his family. I said...Are you crazy? I told him that i don't feel comfortable staying with him and his wife.

I really like the guy but he is married. He do not want to come between me and my boyfriend.. but he knows that i am not happy with my boyfriend and he know that I want to see other people. So he chose himself.. he said he really likes me and the reason why he married is because he has kids and if he did not have a family.. i can move with him in Washington, DC.

Can someone tell me where is this going?
Why he is inviting me into him home with his wife and kids?
Do he really like me or do he want me for sex? I did whip it on him and i think he is hooked. (smile)
What should i do in this situation?
Should i tell him my true feelings?

Thanks for reading all of this

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 9:11pm

It sounds like you are his mistress and he comes from a culture that doesn't condemn a man for having another woman besides his wife. That doesn't mean they won't think you are a whore for accepting the relationship and cheating on your boyfriend.

If you are asking whether there is much of a chance that he will put you ahead of his wife and children, I think you'd be fooling yourself to think that there is.

If you are not happy with your boyfriend, leave him instead of cheating on him and if you want a better relationship go find a guy who is available.

I'm sure you can do better than this married guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 9:18pm
I already know that he will not put me before his wife and I do not want him too... his religion is a muslim..you are right about everything. thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 8:49am

Is this the same guy who asked you to be his "lover" that you were confused about?

It's possible this guy is looking for another wife. It doesn't seem you would mind being part of that, why not take him up on his offer and move to Morocco? His wife probably expects that he will come home with another woman at some point. I'm not sure if he likes you, probably not as much as he likes sex. Sex is a strong tool. If you love this sexual relationship then go for it but please drop the boyfriend, you know that's not going anywhere.

This is one of the weirder stories we get here, if anything it was an entertaining read!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 9:32am
Yes.. this is the guy that wants me to be his lover... I am never going to be his sceond wife.. he is not asking that but the sex is good.. its better than having sex with my boyfriend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 12:15pm

Ladydawk,


I have read both of your posts and I gather that you are okay with being the other woman? I'm not sure exactly what advice you are looking for, but if your relationship with your bf is no good, why not breakup? How would you feel if he was doing what you are (assuming he hasn't)?


Obivously you know that your friend from Morocco is nothing more than a FWB. He has made it clear that he isn't leaving his wife and you will be keeping him company while here in the States.


Ladydawk, IMVHO, affairs are a slippery slope. One person almost always gets more invested than the other. And in this situation, I see that person as you. You know what he wants, and its on you if you continue on with this. Good Luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2009
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 5:04pm

Can someone tell me where is this going?
Why he is inviting me into him home with his wife and kids?
Do he really like me or do he want me for sex? I did whip it on him and i think he is hooked. (smile)
What should i do in this situation?
Should i tell him my true feelings?


Honestly, these questions are the last thing you need to be asking yourself.