Needy and Desperate? Too Late??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
Needy and Desperate? Too Late??
1
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 7:45pm

<p>I met a man whos is 25, I am 38...we started talking online and then switched to text. He and I text from 7am to 1am everyday for a month. Then we finally met in person. We went out to dinner and then came to my place, one thing led to another and we had sex. He went home the next day and then the next day he was back texting, your so beautiful, I want u, I need u, I care about u, I miss u....and that went on for another couple of weeks. Then all of a sudden the calling slowed down to once a week, there would be 2 days between texting and I had of course noticed the change. I asked him several times and he never really replied with an answer. I chased him even more and texted and called, I panicked. As I pushed he ran. Then it got to the point of him not replying to all my messages and then ignoring me. I asked him and again no straight answer. I asked if he needed time and he never said yes, never did he say he wanted it to be over or leave him alone.</p><p><span style="line-height: 1.4;">Now, it is too the point he won't see me, he ignores most of my texts, and I feel like I am begging him just to talk. I will tell him I am done via text and he ignores it, then I try again the next day. I am acting needy and clingy...not healthy I know. If he would just tell me that is doesn't want this or it's over I would really be ok, the fact he isn't is killing me. I had a previous relationship that he ignored me and it devestated me. I sent him a text and said if u care about me then you will reply, I just want to talk to you. He replies and said he would call after work but then no call. He never follows thru. He says he will call and he will see me and doesn't, always a no show. But him replying shows he cares and he said he cares about me but my neediness crosses bounderies and I can't force yourself on me.&nbsp;</span><span style="line-height: 1.4;">I am not going to cut u off bcuz I do like u but u deserve better. Idk what that means though? I ask him to reply if he cares and he does but last nite I sent him a very mad text after he didn't call like he said he would. I text him again today and said I am asking once more to meet to talk, and that I won't bother him anymore....but he ignored all of my texts. Can this be saved? Can I redeem myself? I am ashamed of myself and how I have acted. I care alot about him and want it to work. What should I do?</span></p>

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 8:55pm

I am so sorry that you are feeling the way you are right now. There are a lot of users out there...men and women and in order to protect your heart and MIND(because crap like this can make you crazy)you need to really really learn to trust your instincts...don't go fast...when you were texting all that time...things were great.When you guys went out to dinner ....that was good BUT because you slept with him...he got what he wanted out of you because if he had wanted more...then after you had slept with him..things would have been the same...but of course he slowly distanced himself away from you to move on to his next 'victim'...I know you're really hurting inside and yes...you are acting VERY desperate.He is ignoring you because he doesn't want to see you again...he's being cold to you on purpose...he's already moved on...:(

Please don't fall into the hell I've been living in also...it hurts when you care about someone or you want more and that other person doesn't..especially with YOU but moves on to wanting what you had wanted with him...with someone else...that really sucks!! and it hurts like HELL but you have to keep thinking like this...there are billions of men out there so you need to just keep saying to yourself...'NEXT' if you get a lemon...there are great men out there that are looking for someone like you...who want to be in a great healthy relationship because that is what you deserve!!