Neighborly Love...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Neighborly Love...?
4
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:38pm
I have a crush on my downstairs neighbor. We're both 24 and none each other since August. My roommate and I hang out with the guy, Bobby, maybe about once a week - sometimes more. We'll go out to a bar or something. I've become more close with Bobby, getting to know him and now can safely call him a friend before I would say neighbor. The past few weeks I've developed a crush on him. I've started to feel like he has a crush on me back, but I'm not always good with these types of things.
This past weekend my roommate and I had a party and he came with a couple friends. I ended up hanging with him all night and going down to his apt after it was over. Needless to say we hooked up and I left around 5am. He was saying how he can't belive it took him this long to do anything and that he was shy. He then asked me what I was doing the next day and that he'd come hang out. Well, he never came up in the AM, but I was sitting on my porch around noon and he yelled up to me. He said his parents were coming over to do some major house cleaning with him (yes, he's spoiled) and that if I wasn't busy that we could hang out later. I said ok. 5pm rolls around and I go outside to put the trash out. He comes out and is talking to me about how his parents were still there and he was going nuts because of it. He asked if I still was free later on and I said yes. 9pm and he didn't show up. I call him and he's out with his friend because he couldn't stand being in his apt anymore. I never got to hang out with him. Was he just saying this all day to me because he felt obligated? We're friends and we hang out a lot so I don't see why he would hook up with me if he wasn't interested, would he? It's obviously going to make it weird if he just wanted a one night thing. Any ideas, comments, advice? I'm really liking him and having him right downstairs is killing me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 5:24pm
By "hooking up" do you mean you two had sex?

~pineapple_girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 11:57am

Technically speaking, yes.

He actually called me last night and asked if he could come upstairs. We sat and watched TV for a bit and my roommate got home and he ended up leaving. I have no problem taking things slow, but I like to be assured that he's interested. I know I should talk to him, but I don't want to freak him out, I feel as if it's too early. And yes, I know, having sex was a bad idea. But we didn't do anything last night - no touching, kissing, etc. I'm starting to get awkward around him because I like him so much. Ugh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 2:04pm
Personally I would just joke around and say something like oh so do you hook up with all your neighbors...ha ha ha. this way you bring it up and give him the chance to say no it's that I like you or ust laugh it off and not say anything. If he's into you I feel that he will take whatever opportunity that he can to express he likes you. I would say try that, best of luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 2:23pm

I dunno. I mean, he could be interested in you as more than a fwb, or he could just be interested in you as a fwb.

The way he acted in your OP, shows me that he's not interested in you as a person, at least not yet, and that he was only interested in your body. Why? Because, he wouldn't have blown you off to go out with his buddies after flaking out on you all day long. I can understand the parents bit, but in the end, he chose to go out with his friend, NOT YOU. That shows me he's not interested in dating you.

I think he's just interested in sex. But that's me. Maybe, take it slow and back off the sex and heck, I'd talk to him about it. Weird or not, but I'd talk because for all you know, he could have some sort of STD. Better safe than sorry. Y'know.

Good luck.

~pineapple_girl