New guy... but can I trust him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
New guy... but can I trust him?
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:58pm

I can't believe it happens over and over again... I meet guys who have girlfriends all the time. since I moved to go to university last fall I have met 3 guys who all have had a girlfriend in their home town.
No 1. I met him and we got along really well. We flirted a lot... then I found out from other people that he had a girlfriend at home. Then he finally told me. But he ended that relationship for good to be with me. We dated for a couple of weeks but I guess he wasn't ready to be in a new relationship that fast. But we are now very good friends.

No 2. I met this guy at a party and we connected immediately. Then we spent more time together and I have never had that connection with a guy. BUT then I found out from his friend that he also had a gf in his hometown. He never told me, and I didn't know if it was over or not, so I asked him, and then he had already spent a night with me (without anything happened) and we hade made out once. He said they were on a break... but now I guess they weren't. We have talked a lot about how we feel for each other and he said I'm the first one who made him think that maybe he and his gf don't have a future. But then the other day I saw them hand in hand here in this town. So I guess he went back to her.

No 3. This guy I also met at a party and we had fun together. Then we have been talking online for a whole week and it really felt good. I also met him at another party and we couldn't keep away from each other. We spent the whole night talking and had so much fun. Then I find out from his friend that he also has a girlfriend... this guy really don't act like he has a girlfriend.

How could I trust a guy? It feels like I'm always let down. I mean they flirt with me, we have wonderful times together and everything just feels perfect. AND THEY DON*T TELL ME THEY HAVE GIRLFRIENDS! Ok.. the first guy handled it as well as he could.. he didn't do anything wrong. But the other two. I mean.. why behave like that. Now as soon as I meet a new guy I'm afraid he has a gf but that he doesn't tell me. And it feels weird to ask the first thing you do if he has a gf. That seems desperate.

I met a guy a couple of weeks ago and I got his number and sent him a message which he answered. Then I didn't know what to write back so I let that go. Now the other night I met him again and he seemed really happy to see me and remembered everything so well. He said he had got really dissapointed when I didn't write back and that he had told his friends that he had met a really nice girl but he got totally dumped. So now we said we should start over. So I sent a message to him yesterday and he answered and I wrote back and he did too. I work at this coffee place and said he could stop by soon again and he said he would definitely start drinking more coffee now. So that was cute.
Today I saw him with this girl in town. They were just walking side by side. No holding hands or anything, but as soon as I saw that I became so afraid he also has a gf. I really don't think so but you understand what those 3 guys did to my trust in guys!
Should I send a new message to him and ask for a date? I would really want to see him again...
I really needed to let this all out and I would be happy for any comment or advice on this situation. Or if someone recognizes how this feels. I'm very thankful for anything.