New Long Distance Relationship vs Job
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 04-19-2006 - 12:10am |
I got signed up on mySpace a couple of weeks ago to re-connect with some old friends. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen! I got an e-mail on Thursday from a guy that I knew (barely) in high school...we were in one class together junior year, and his best friend dated my best friend for a bit, but I never really had anything to do with him.
Well, we sent e-mails back and forth a couple of times, and then Friday night, he asked if I was going home for Easter. I hadn't thought much about it, and that's what I told him. He replied that he was driving in for the weekend (he lives about 7 hours away, and I'm 2 hours from home myself). He said that if I was coming in, we should get together.
I still didn't think much of it, till I got up Saturday morning and had an e-mail with his phone number in it, saying to give him a call when I got into town...so I decided on the spur of the moment to go home.
I called him that night, he came over, and we sat on my parents porch for 3 hours talking about high school and people we knew, and relationship and dating and all that jazz. It was so fun! It was so easy to talk to him, because there was somewhat of a history there, and also, there was no weird romantic crap swirling in the air...or so I thought!
When I got up Sunday, I had 2 text messages from him, saying that he had a great time, and that he would have to come up to my city soon...OK, cool...still not catching anything...then I got another text that said that he had wanted to kiss me!
So over the course of the last 3 days, it's been established that we want to try to date long distance, him in St. Louis, me in Ohio. This is unlike anything I've ever dealt with, because this man absolutely wants to get to know me, and isn't all about hooking up, and he's serious about it, not flaky at all.
Well, here comes the trouble. I have a job interview in the morning for the type of job I've been trying to get for months. It's what I want to do. But the drawback is that this job works every weekend, with 2 random days off during the week...and that will severely interfere with our newly forming relationship, as he works Monday thru Friday.
If this was just some random guy that I was getting to know, I wouldn't hesitate to take the job if offered, but the situation is completely different. We want to be together, and this really means something to me.
I'm already talking myself out of wanting the job. But I know that if he wasn't in the picture, I'd snap it up in a heartbeat. But a job is a job is a job...and it's not often that you meet someone that you know is going to be a big thing in your life.Part of me is saying that I "should" feel torn between the job and the man...but I'm not...I want the man...and I almost feel guilty for not wanting the job...
What do you make of this?

Have you ever seen a dress on the rack in a store and you can't take your eyes off it? You look and walk away. Then you look again, and again. Eventually you try it on and it looks terrible. With this knowledge you can leave the dress behind and stop wondering about it.
I see your job situation in a similar light. May I suggest that you go to the job interview and see what the job's like? Perhaps you'll find that it's perfect - in which case you've got some soul searching to do. But you may also find that you don't want the job or don't get offered it. Which will solve the problem.
In either case, it will stop you from wondering "what if".
Well, I woke up this morning with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, so I knew that I had already made my decision...so I called and cancelled the interview. It just didn't feel right, suddenly. And there'll be other jobs...it's not as if my current one is horrible, it's just boring and not what I want to do with my life.
I think perhaps talking to Dan on the phone last night sealed the deal. He convinced me that I'd do great at the interview (when I said I was so nervous about it), because "who wouldn't want me?" And we started talking about me coming to visit him the weekend after next. We addressed the point of how getting to see each other would be impossible if I got this job, and even though he in no way told me NOT to do it, he was fairly clear that he wanted more out of me in terms of a relationship, so it would have to be something that we had to work out. The fact that he wasn't selfish about it told me everything I needed to know.
And I feel so much better now. I have the morning off work, so I'm going to do a lot of reflecting about things, but I feel already a step ahead in the game.
So thanks for your advice...