No one supports our future marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
No one supports our future marriage
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 3:37pm

Hello all, I should be getting married next year but have recently found out that no one on my fiance's side (friends or family) supports us. His family is very religious although he is not. I am not in the religion and

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 5:20pm

My advice is to grieve for the loss of this future you'd hoped and dreamed for, and then move on. Marriage is difficult enough with out half of the friends and family poisoning the growth and closeness. His family will always be in his life. Even though they "disowned" him it didn't amount to much because they still have contact, they didn't shun and excommunicate him. Those people will be in your life, will be in your childrens lives, being disliking and possibly hostile to your children, or about you to your children.

Love is not enough. There is also a more than fair chance that once you do have children your man will, out of nastalgia or familiarity, want to return to that religion he was raised in and turned from. That is a far too common happening in mixed religion couples. One gives up theirs to be with the other, and when kids come and holidays are coming around suddenly they want to go back to the religion (and memories) of their upbringing religion.

Unless he is willing to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 10-29-2009 - 8:05pm

I agree with DFW. By ending the engagement, he has allowed his family to win and proven that he doesn't have what it takes to stand up for you as the woman he loves.

I find it so sad that his family would treat you this way. But you should move on and find someone who values you enough to make a stand with you as a team even if the rest of the world is against you. If you can't stand together then you won't make it. I honestly believe you should find someone you have a brighter future with - I'm so sorry you were lied to by the people in his life.