Not confused, but curious
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| Tue, 08-09-2005 - 10:18pm |
At someone's request, I am posting this as a separate discussion.
I totally respect what MFG had to say. And since you're the expert here it goes. No, I have not asked this guy out, but I am interested. We work together, and he's always telling me that I am very attractive. We've been out before together. A couple of times, just spur of the moment, let's go out for dinner after work, or maybe we've met up on the weekend after church. Ok, and we've also been out together for work reasons, not actually discussing work things. When we are alone, he asks me alot of personal questions. I can chalk it up to him being nosy, but he flirts, he asks personal questions. He ask about my family. He asks me about my life. He tells me that I am very attractive, and if he is intimidated by girls that look like me (cop out). Anyway, I can't figure it out. I've liked him for so long, and when we are together I totally enjoy his company. No, I am not pining over him, I am way over that. I just have feelings for him,and they're not going away. I go to work and I am professional, friendly, but I am very shy. He asks me how I got to be so shy,and I've told him, life has caused me to be shy. (Between you & I, my ex-husband cheated on me and I've just become introverted, and keep to myself, I am also very private). This guy wants to know about me. We don't talk all of the time, but every couple of weeks, when he's not so busy (he is the president of the company). Yes, I know about the dating a co-worker. I can live with all of this, but I feel as though he is still flirting, and questioning, and very jealous of other people at my job talking to me. My co-workers have mentioned that he's a little protective of me. I never comment, but just observe. He also has told me numerous times that he likes me being around, finds me interesting. He told me that if he met a girl online, (not knowing what she looked like),and someone that looked like me showed up, he'd be relieved. Hardly a conversation that I would think that I would have with someone not interested. I am not a child, so, I will know if someone is flirting. I am not stupid (at least I don't think so),so, I feel that I am not a victim here, or that he is toying with me, as nothing has happened. I enjoy his company when we go out, but I don't call him at all, or pursue him otherwise. I never tell my co-workers that we go out. But, I do think, he may have mentioned certain things to them. Like recently, one of my co-workers asked me if I'd gone out on a date that past weekend, a little suspicious to me. Little things he said, (I had gone out with this guy that Friday and we drove around, he took me around his house, but didn't go there or anything). So, i was like why would my boss mention to the guys that we'd been out. I just didn't like it, I am too private, and at my age (early 30s) I just don't want to be the subject of office gossip. Quite a few guys at my office, find me attractive, but they are married. It's fine.
So MFG, I just want to know what your take on this is. You raised some good points, and although some of the things you said were a little shallow (about changing your looks), you're entitled to your opinion. Just between us, when I first met this guy I like, I found him totally repulsive, I wouldn't get near him at all. He offered to meet me outside of work,and little things, I would always say no. I was married then of course, but still, he gave me the creeps. But see over time (we've known each other for 2 years), I fell for him as person, and now everything that I originally found unattractive, just went away. I can't see it. I just enjoy & like him! So, maybe you need to get to know that girl with the bad teeth & few extra pounds, you might just fall for her.
Thanks ahead of time for your advice.
Mysterious32
