Not Sure How I Feel
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|Wed, 07-21-2010 - 1:53am|
I've posted on a couple other boards about my bf and I but usually about his family and merging our cultures (Pakistani and Chinese/Italian) but I guess there's some other stuff that's been stressing our relationship lately and I just wanted some opinions/a place to let it out.
We've been together almost 3.5 years now, I'm 24 he's 25 and we're both each other's first gf/bf. Last year we moved in together which we both agree probably happened too quickly. From the start he has said he loved me...literally 3 weeks in he was claiming this...took me awhile longer (months really) but eventually I returned the sentiments. Though now I'm not so sure. I don't know what my feelings are - how can I when I've never been in a situation like this before? And how is he so sure about how he feels?
He constantly tells me he loves me and knows that I love him and claims that I just don't know this yet. He says he will always love me and would forgive anything that I do. He is a great guy and does anything I need/want. He is caring - loves his parents and siblings. Cares for friends and is always willing to help people out. He is the ideal guy really and I don't know what's wrong with me, thinking I'm not sure about staying with him.
We used to fight about his parents a lot (they are mulsim and have strict rules regarding his dating). Lately we have been just fighting, well more me getting angry over little things. Most of the time I end up in tears feeling angry, sad and guilty over getting angry. The last few times we talked about taking a break but it was never something we really thought we'd go through with. He felt I needed to sort things out and maybe I do, but I'm not sure what.
This last fight he says he is leaving because its not fair to me that he keeps sticking around when I don't return the same feelings. He feels bad that I always end up crying and upset over things between us. I mean even when he's sorta ending things with me he sounds like a great guy. He says he loves me still and hopes that I will realize I love him and we'll end up together anyways.
Problem is I'm not sure if I want things to end or not. I still am not sure how I feel and don't think its fair to him that I'm unsure and keep picking fights for no reason. I have very strong feelings for him and most of the time I feel as if I do love him but then I get angry...and can't figure out why I keep picking fights...am I just messed up or looking for an excuse to end things with these fights?
Any insight/advice would be great, sorry for the long post!