Okay it can't be.... Wait is it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2006
Okay it can't be.... Wait is it?
1
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 12:20am

I'm not sure if i met my soul mate but it sure feels like it.. The first time i laid eyes on him was at my job. I was just hired and he had been employee there for at least 3 or 4 months. I got the job throu a ex who has been working there just a little longer then him. so it was kind of weired having a ex that everyone knew i use to go out with there but any who.... the first time i saw him i was not really attracted to him. He was not the kind of guy i usually date but it was funny to me that his face seemed to stay in my head and his personality was so pure to me.. i still didnt pay attention to my feelings then. Well one night some co-workers including him decided that they wanted to go out after work. So i made sure i brought a change of clothing since i had to close. now the uniforms we had to wear did not show the curves or anything so he didn't know what i was working with but when i walked out from the back i could see him and a co-worker wording out with there lips DANG!!! So you know i felt good but when i saw him i could have sworn my mouth was almost to the ground. He was not really dressed up but the laker jacket, jeans, and tee made me look twice. when i got closer i saw his beautiful green eyes that i missed so many times. So anyways we went to fridays. he sat across from me and by his body language and the way he would look at me that he was into me. so i begin to flirt and he as well and by the end of the night we exchange numbers.

It didnt take that long until we started going out. Which i dont really think that was such a good move because we still didnt know each other that well. And because we didnt know eachother that well i guess it was easy for someone to come into out relationship and break it up and that was what happened the first time and second. by the second time i was in tears because i was really starting to fall for this man. Over time talking to him i became his best friend, but i knew i wanted more so everytime i would say lets get back together since we know eachother alittle more he would say lets hold out more. see he was about to go to school and by this time i was no longer working at that job with him. i didnt understand but i still remained his friend because truth be told i really did cherish our friendship but i was also falling deeper for him. so not to long ago i talk to my mother and she told me to tell him how i feel before i regret it. so i did and instead of him saying im not ready for that yet. he was understanding and said that he thinks that something may come out of this friendship. He has never hurt me and i have never hurt him. we have always been straight forward with everything and most of all we could talk about anything and still be on beat. but i know i would be hurt if i lost him. but dont we all feel like that once we found someone special or is this real could he be the one?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 4:11pm

I think this is one of those situations where only time can tell what will come out of it. My only advice to you is just to make sure that you're not cutting yourself off from meeting other guys and giving other guys a chance because of him. First of all, there's always a chance that he'll end up meeting somebody else that he falls in love with and ends up marrying, and then you will regret having wasted years of your life when you might have found somebody just because you were waiting for this guy. Secondly, it might provide him with some extra motivation for wanting to be with you. My boyfriend and I were in a similar situation before we were a couple. We were best friends, and I knew that he had strong feelings for me and really wanted to be with me, but I was still uncertain and didn't want to pursue anything until I was more confident. During that time, a couple of times I heard about him flirting with another girl, and it gave me that fear of, "What if he ends up with somebody else and then I really want him, but it's too late?" Eventually, my feelings ended up getting really strong to the point where I could no longer deny, and we got together. But knowing that I could have lost him if I waited longer made me feel really lucky and appreciative that I got him.

I'm not saying to play games where you flirt with other guys or date other guys that you usually wouldn't have been interested in just to make him scared or jealous. That type of game-playing usually just back-fires and causes more problems than it solves. Just make sure you're not closing off options that you might have otherwise pursued just because of him.