One Hot and Heated Month

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
One Hot and Heated Month
3
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 9:54pm

Ok, so last semester I meet this guy, we have a lot in common but the main thing is we are both Jewish (very rare in my little corner of America). I’m in a relationship at the time (5- years) but I never had loved G (my b-friend), and C and I had major fireworks. I didn’t get emotionally involved with C until after I ended things with G, in January. Well, because I fell for C immediately when we finally started going out – things moved very quickly. This was the kind of love an ambitious 20yr. old dreams of. He took me places, he bought me gifts, and I was completely enamored with him. He told me he LOVED me (completely unprompted and non-sexual) after a week, I was thrilled but didn’t return the sentiment, so he could have room to take it back later. A week later things got rather steamy and we headed back to my place. OMG – he is sooooooo good in bed! This was on a Saturday, we both have class on Monday, so I take him home Sunday afternoon (he never got his license b/c he lives in the city and never needed it). We have 2 breaks together during the week where we hang out. But I could not wait for the weekend b/c we made plans to spend Friday night together, since we couldn’t see each other during the week (he works until 6, I get out at 1 and live 40mins away.) Bleh… sorry this is long.

Friday night, I’m all dressed up… 6:00..7:00… no phone call, no C. So I call him and he’s hanging out with his band! Excuse me? I’m pissed but I forgive him (b/c the “band” only gets together about once a month) and we make plans for the next night. 6:00…7:00… No phone call, no C. I call him, C… where are you? He is on his way to a city an hour away for a friend’s b-day party. AHHH! I am beyond pissed. The next day on his face book profile there are pics of him getting drunk at this party and I bed w/ another girl. Ok this is getting really long so… I break up with him; he has a reasonable excuse (she was his friend’s girlfriend –verified by friend). We sleep together, all is right with the world. He comes over the following Friday but then has to rush home Saturday (even though I asked him to stay) to do school work. I call him and he’s over at a friend’s house, so I break up with him again because he ditched me and lied to me. Ugh… he amazes me and I want to make things work, so I forgive him again (I called him, he didn’t call me). He says he loves me we make plans for Friday night again, and surprise; he tells me he can’t come on Friday morning because he has to write song lyrics. AHHH! So I’ve broken up w/ him again – for good I hope.

Here is my question… I am afraid that if he calls me, I will turn around and forgive him. He is sooooo hot, and so good in bed, and so talented, and such a damn jerk. I don’t know how to keep myself away from him; even though I know and other people tell me I should. It’s only been a month but I’m so torn up over him. Ughh… Somebody smack me out of it!! I've told him I loved him several times now in the heat of the moment.
What a mess!

Help me!
Morgan




Edited 2/25/2006 9:54 pm ET by itsstuffyinhere
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 1:46am

"...I am afraid that if he calls me, I will turn around and forgive him. He is sooooo hot, and so good in bed, and so talented, and such a damn jerk..."

Yes, you certainly will, again and again, until he calls you for the final time. I'm afraid that you will have to get used to his lifestyle because that is what would-be rock stars like to do. There is a chance that you might be able to keep him interested in you but only if you are hot and good in bed too. You must be, Morgan, if he has kept you this long. He probably has groupies hanging around him at all of his gigs wanting to sleep with him. The next time that the band hits the road ask if you can come along and see what he says. Is the band any good?




Edited 2/26/2006 1:59 am ET by throughtheringer
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 8:20am

You were young, and overcome by lust, excitement, and attention, but you are a level-headed person who knows how seductive but exasperating this guy can be. He is all about himself, and you are just a convenience. If he has to make an effort to see you and get into bed with you, forget it--he has other things to do, and more convenient girls to attend to him. Keep reminding yourself that you're just another notch on his gun.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but if it wasn't now, it would be at some other time. It's a growing experience. When you see his number on Caller ID, don't answer. If you hear his voice on your machine, hit DELETE. And stay off FaceBook, because you're not going to like what you see.

Your feelings will settle down, and your head will take over again if you avoid contact. And don't despair: there are plenty of other hot, smart Jewish guys out there who are great in bed. The right one for you will be along soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 10:39am

This is simple....infatuation is "your desire for me makes me feel so good about being me, I can't get enough of your attention".

He likes how he feels about himself thanks to your adoration....same on your side.

But he's got other things to do, he's not itnerested in commitment and obligation - he enjoys conversation, fun and sex but not where it obligates him to meet needs.

Why can't you just give him of yourself what you want him to have, and expect nothing in the long term of this and you'd have great sex and conversation when he's interested in that, and you are as well.

Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com