Online relationships

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Online relationships
3
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:50pm
How would you feel if your mate had lots of online friends of the oppisite sex? Would you be intimidated? What if they talked on the phone also? DO you have friends of the oppisite sex, how does your mate feel about it? What if they spent hours talking to them, but swore nothing was going on but a friendship? Have you ever met someone of the oppisite sex online that you formed a bond with and it lasted for years? What if your mate wanted you to stop it, what would you do?
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 10:57am

Some of it's hard to say. I think I'd be willing to gve up a "friend I had never met if it made my SO uncomfortable, but to be prefectly honest I don't know if that's because it's true or only because I asked my fiance to do just that when we started living together. He had some women he IM'd from time to time it bothered me he stopped.

I guess to me the line between what is and isn't acceptable is crossed when he has friends I'm not allowed to be friends with. Unless there's something questionable going on, why wouldn't your SO be allowed to meet and be friends with ALL your friends. I mean if someone is important enough in your life to call them a good friend shouldn't you want your SO to share in that friendship?

I'm not intimidated by any of Pete's friends I know. He has one female friend he used to be close with that I haven't met because starting about 6 months before we met they stopped hanging out together as much. He says it's becasue there just hasn't been an opportunity the way there has been with all his other friends.

Well I trust him and I know that nothing is going on but I can't help being a little intimidated becasue she used to be important to him and I know there are things he admires about her and becasue I haven't met her I've never been able to see for myself what she's about it bugs me sometimes.

I'm nervous about meeting her and I finally told him that I refuse to met her for the first time on my wedding day so either I meet her before invitations go out or she wont be invited.

Does this mean I'm insecure? Yes, it does. Is it his fault or her fault that I'm insecure, well yes and no. It's not their fault I'm insecure, but they could be helping to put those feelings to rest just by setting up lunch and they haven't and that kind of bugs me.

I can see both sides. Would I feel better if she dropped from the face of the planet, honestly yes. Is there a part of me that would LOVE to act like a lunatic and demand he stop speaking to her, yes. Is it going to happen, no. Why not? Because I'm not a luatic and I know that all the fear I sometimes feel is unwarranted. I know who he loves and wants to be with for the rest of his life. I'm not going to let some insecurity that comes and goes and has 100 times more to do with me then him mess up fabulous relationship or turn me into a jealous lune, okay well maybe it does a little once in a while, but that's why I have girlfriends to vent to, so he doesn't know I'm an insecure jealous lune some of the time. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 11:36am

Well if my mate had lots of online friendships, I'd be upset ~ but I expect him to accept all of mine!!!

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 11:49am

How would you feel if your mate had lots of online friends of the oppisite sex?
**I honestly wouldn't like it.

Would you be intimidated?
**Most definitely

What if they talked on the phone also?
**It'd still bother me.

DO you have friends of the oppisite sex, how does your mate feel about it?
**Yes I do, and he doesn't care

What if they spent hours talking to them, but swore nothing was going on but a friendship?
**It'd still bother me

Have you ever met someone of the oppisite sex online that you formed a bond with and it lasted for years?
**Yes, but we were also FWB first, and well, so far, I've lost contact with a lot of them because they got married

What if your mate wanted you to stop it, what would you do?
**Depends on how close I am to the person. If I am very close, then no. If I'm not, then yeah, I probably would.

I'll be honest. I don't like my guy having too many women friends, even if I have a ton of male friends. I am insecure, I get jealous. I know my limits. I also love the fact that dbf isn't a computer chatty person, cuz that means, I don't have to worry he's screwing aroudn online, when he rarely GOES online. but that's me. I know my limits. And that's why I tend to date men who fall into a certain catagory.

~pineapple_girl