Only Weekday Chick??
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| Mon, 03-21-2005 - 1:23am |
I’m hoping someone who’s been down this road would be able to give me a few answers. Me and my b/f have been together almost a year now. Before him, I was in a relationship for 6 years and sadly that didn’t work. Well after that I was single for quite a while, I think like 2 years or something.
Okay so me and my b/f work together and it’s not an undercover relationship like some office relationships. We have lunch together, we attend functions together and practically do everything normal couples do. My problem is, in the beginning of the relationship, we talked everyday (not just at work), we saw each other after work almost everyday and everything was just so wonderful. Lately, however, things have changed. There are weekends that go by with us not talking to each other at all. Not one single phone call. I’ve been in a relationship before and I remember doing the calling all the time so I’ve told myself that it won’t happen again. Actually there have been times when I have called him over the weekend and he’s cut the line, saying he was in the middle of something. So I am not hurting myself by doing this. I know he does some part time work over weekends but surely, would a minute of saying hello to your girlfriend take up too much time? The last time I brought up the subject, he got upset and said I didn’t understand that he had to work over weekends and that when he is free, he always chooses to be with me instead of his friends. Okay, that’s fine, but why can’t we just talk then? No answer, just more accusations of me not understanding..
Then, come Monday, we pick up from there. Like nothing was wrong and we’re doing those everyday things and then Friday, back to the same old weekend routine that I really do not understand. Am I just a weekday chick or what? What on earth would keep him busy? I’m beginning to think there’s someone else? Or am I just being paranoid? There are days I just feel that I should let it go? I think I was so much happier single than I am now? What is it with guys? They are never consistent?
So now I am asking, is it worth my hanging on when I am not happy anymore? I have tried to point out the problem but evidently he doesn’t see one? I am tired and I need a break, what should I do?

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I agree (in part) with the previous poster's advice, however, most couples in a relationship do spend time together on the weekend (even if it's only on the phone). What kind of job does he have on the weekend? Do you know for a fact that he's working or truly suspect there is someone else? I would have a lot of questions about this dude if it were me. It sounds like you have too much time together through the week (as previously mentioned) and then when you have free time away from work, he jilts you. You don't need that. I would agree that not working together would be the best option (whether you stay with him or not). If you do end up splitting up, it makes the grief time a lot worse having to see him daily. Is there another dept. within the same company you could transfer?
Also, spending time together at work is not the same as spending quality time with each other on your "off" hours. If he doesn't see this, you do need to give him space and perhaps move away from this one-sided situation.
You know what? I was living with my
My gut feeling....he's seeing someone on the weekends.
Perfect situation for him ~ and getting defensive is number one tell tale.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
Okay, so I should give him his space right? I can do that but he’s the one that pursues me. We work in different offices but in departments that are closely linked. Plus our offices are on the same floor so I bump into him almost all the time. There have been times when I have had so much work and I worked over lunch and I remember him picking up the phone and asking why I didn’t want to be with him. I can handle not being with him during the week coz I am dog tired at the end of the day anyway, but I am not sure if that will change my dilemma? He is an accountant and so he does these little jobs for this small audit firm a few miles away from here. I understand that and I really am not asking that he leave this job to be with me, it’s his incommunicado state that I hate. I don’t mind just a hello on the phone, but like I said in my post, he got upset the last time I brought it up so I’m better off not saying anything.
Then as to whether he’s seeing someone else? I really don’t know but there might be a chance? Last year some time in September, a friend of mine told me she’d seen him at a club with a girl that didn’t look like a friend? I asked him about it and he said she was an ex that he’d bumped into. I really made an issue of it and our relationship almost came to a halt but somehow we talked things through and here we are. So, trust is something I really don’t have and that’s why I think maybe I’m just paranoid? The last time we spent a night together was over a month ago, though we have been made love in between. The last time being almost two weeks ago. He says he can’t spend he has to be up early “working”
You see, I’ve been through this kind of thing before, you know the calling, the groveling, the being-the-one-to-make-the-relationship-work-bit. I am not sure of I want to walk that road again coz boy it’s exhausting!!! Why can’t he be the one to ask me why he doesn’t see me often enough? Why does it have to bother me and not him? Why is it always me making the relationship work? Making myself look good all the time? I know some relationships have balance, but mine sure doesn’t and it’s driving me up the wall! Am I just going through a phase or something? Or am I just looking for a reason to end this madness?? I am so angry inside I just needed to vent!!! Thank you for listening.
It would also be the incommunicado state that bothers me also.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
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