opposite everything..help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
opposite everything..help!
2
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 4:41pm

I have been dating this guy for 4 months now. We are in love, and on the same page about most things in our relationship, but we are innately very different. I like to go out at night with friends and stay out relatively late, he does not. He still has a year to go of college, I graduated a year ago and am looking for a career. He's very athletic, i'm average athletic.

Well,today he brings up to me that he is going to start training hardcore (he's a cyclist). He told me that he must wake up at 5 am every morning to do this, which means he will have to go to sleep early at night. Now, I totally respect this if it is what he wants to do (even though he is not expecting to become a professional cyclist) I cannot help but think that this will hurt our relationship because we will not see each other as much. So his schedule would go like this" wake up early, cycle,go to work,go to class, go to sleep" while my everyday schedule would be more like : wake up, go to work, workout sometime between then, then whatever. Considering I am trying to get a full time job ASAP, the effects won't be as bad(now we have the same job and see each other almost everyday)but I have never had a serious relationship before and I want to be around him literally 24/7. It is very strange for me because i'm used to being very independent and doing almost everything on my own.

I really do love him a lot, even though we have many differences. My family criticizes the differences all the time because, although i am no social butterfly, I do like going out and socializing, and he is very, very shy and prefers to stay in.

The question is, do you think this relationship will still go strong even though we won't see each other as much? I'm so used to spending the night with him, pretty much every other night. I do have other things to do obviously,(even more when i find a full time job) but I really miss him when I am not with him,and I know it's the same for him. We both live at home because we do not have enough money to move in together at this point.

Anyone have any insight for me? I would really appreciate it! Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 11:08pm
It doesnt sound like you are opposites-you have similar likes. Rather, you both are different, in the sense that you like to go out and hang with your friends and he is more of a homebody. If you want the relationship to progress simply let him know and things will work out just fine. In regards to his training-you should support him. At least he is not spending his time foolishly or trying to spend time with someone else. The training will only be for a couple of months. Is there a way that you both could try and make one or two evenings during the weekend (since he is busy during the week with training) that you could make special and your own. Whatever you do-dont take what he is doing personal. He does care for you and he sounds like a great guy. So, simply take it easy. Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 1:09am

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it. We talked earlier tonight about it and my feeling all along was that he should not worry because I completely support what he wants to do. It might do us better to have a little more time to ourselves too---sometimes I think I am too dependent on him because this is my first serious relationship. And I should probably be spending more time with my friends and family...oops..; )...this love thing makes multitasking hard sometimes!