past relationships and experiences

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
past relationships and experiences
1
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 10:15am

I am interested in hearing what other people feel about the feelings I am having. I am engaged to a man that I find handsome, wonderful and feel an amazing relationship with. I find myself often getting focused on his previous relationships. I have not become involved with many men because I am very particular about the type of men I am involved with, however, he has had more intimate relationships. I also noticed that we have come across 3 women, out in public, that he has pointed out to me as having been with in the past. I have become more upset lately, not because I am jealous of these women so much as I am jealous of some things that we have done that are new for me, however, seemingly just another time for him. He treats me like gold and keeps me aware of everything that is taking place, however, I never wanted to be with someone who has had such an involved past. I have absolutely fallen in love with him and don't know how else to work out these feelings.

He is also such a great guy that a woman came into the area, who he had a brief encounter with, and she ran into an emergency. He was the first person she called and he feels obligated to help her because she is new to the area and has no one else, he says, to call. I am becoming so frustrated and need some suggestions.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 4:47pm

jfulgi...

Depending upon our past and present personalities, some of us naturally get 'caught up in everybody's problems!'

What you need to understand is the separation between a man who is caring toward others, but who TRULY LOVES YOU! If you're going to place more importance all of the activities that your fiancee has previously been involved with....instead of the potential the two of you have TOGETHER AS A COUPLE....it's foolish to pursue (or even consider) a permanent relationship together.

The characteristics of our personality (good or bad) make us who we are. And that leaves you with the choice of accepting or rejecting us. If your goal in love is to try and change anybody...based on your way of thinking...you're probably going to be very disappointed?

Pianoguy