Please help me here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Please help me here.
22
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 4:17pm

I met this guy at a party less than a month ago. He asked me to attend his company's xmas party when we met 2nd time at another party (we both were some drunk). But I denied him since I already made the plan for that day. I've seen him total 5 times in the group before he asked me out alone. He never asked my phone number but I got his phone number from my friend to call him for asking him to go to our party. First time he called my very close girlfriend to go out eat with them (he told her he will call me later too and he called me later) but she had plan so I ended up to go eat with them. From that day, he called me sometimes and started to asking me to go to eat with him alone. We already went out 3 times alone, every time he treated me the dinner at the restaurant and went to his house to watch movies. But he never really said they were dates. He said he told his friend that he went out with me as a friend. (We both wanted to make it private) Nothing happened for the first 2 dates, but at the last date (3rd date, 2 days ago), We bought some snacks, wine, and we ended up with having sex!!!

I have feelings for him, and I want this to work out. But having sex at 3rd date is too quick?? I have never had sex with someone so quick! I was asking him what we are now, he didn't really state clearly, do you guys think he's just playing it for sex? How can I tell if he's serious with me? I don't want to become someone's sexual partner only! I think he knows I like him, but I do not want him to take advanage from it..What should I do? Please help!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:17pm

Thanks for your reply! Maybe because I liked him too much and I wanted more from him (not just sex). Yes he did say we don't need to have sex when we will date. But I guess I was not satisfied with him: Again I don't like the ideal he will go on trip alone (another one in the near future) I guess I didn't feel he was putting me in his future. In fact we haven't really gone out since he got back (2 weeks ago), only one time at week day after I asked him to pick me up instead of me driving over his place. He didn't call me often at all, he called me once was at 12am!!! When I called him, he was either on the phone or not picked it up and not called me for a while. Even when he asked me o ut, it always a last minutes thing, he never made any plans 2 days ahead. How can I continue this "relationship" like that? Even though we don't have sex, but it will be a problem if he acts like that. Well, he once metioned that wanted me to stay over his place at night, I told him he's not my bf I can't do that. I think I am reasonable.

>>>Can you help me understand what you are looking for in a serious relationship with >>>someone? What does it look like to you? I'm seriously asking this question, because >>>this just looked doomed from the very first post and I want to understand.

Well, it have to be someone we like each other, care about each other. We don't need to see each other every day, but whenever it's possible we should spend more time with each other, like in the weekend sometimes, go out like a couple, kiss hug all that, be exclusive with each other. Willing to share stuffs with each other, introduce each other to our families, friends.......so on........

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 11:27pm
Last time we talked he did say he was only seeing me......I guess I should just stop thinking about him, move on.

Pages