Pls read:mama's boy/no respect for me
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 10-01-2005 - 8:34pm |
I want to say thank you to those who responded to my other post
about my 5yr relationship with my bf, you know, the "it's my
way or the highway" deal.
I have yet another truly upsetting issue. My bf is such
a mama's boy. Truly. It's bad enough that he lives back
with her now, but it's like, anything she says, goes.
Remember the whole I have to massage his back to help
him fall asleep thing. That too, today I get bitched at
by his mom because I stayed there too late, b/c she has
rules which I try to follow, and then, if I don't stay,
I get bitched at by my bf b/c I don't stay long enough.
I'm so fed up feeling so weak, and yet I feel like I
can do nothing. I'm almost wanting him to cheat on
me or do something really screwed up so I can break up
him. If it's not that, then I don't know how to do it.
I'm about to go buy some self-confidence, respect yourself,
how-to-say NO effectively, books. You know how they say,
you should already make yourself happy, and when you
become involved in a relationship, that other person
should be able to make you happier? Well, I feel happy
when I'm by myself, he can make me happy somtimes, but
other times it's all about him, when he'll claim I only
think of myself, as if I'm the selfish one. And other times,
it's as if I'm not even there to him, only when he wants
me to help him go to sleep, and help his family paint their
walls, clean their house etc.... And no, I'm not even married
to this guy. Not unless you're the one paying, or you're
the one doing most of the work, will you be held in an OK
place in their eyes.

liley7s...
Pianoguy has 2 questions for you:
1. Is your life solely based around the behavior of this man (and his mother)???
2. If you're so miserable with the way things have developed...and their obvious lack of respect for you, WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO PUT UP WITH IT?
You aren't under any contract to keep this relationship going. So if it's making YOU miserable...END IT!
Pianoguy
Thanks for your feedback pianoguy.
And to answer your questions.. no, I'm not subject to this
man or his mother, and I'm not exactly sure why I put up
with it, maybe I lost myself, maybe I'm afraid that I won't
find anyone after him. I've tried to break up with him
a few times, but he'll always start to tell me how much
he loves me, how much he's always begged for me to come back, and
this is after I got back together with him. I wish he would
change. He can be so great, but when we're alone, his mind
is only in one place. Get sex, get sleep, spend enough time with
him that I know he's asleep, then go downstairs to say hello
to his parents, get $hit from them b/c I'm there to late, then
leave. Maybe I think he'll still change. When we have a good
day, it's really a good day, and I start thinking about what
a future we might be able to have together, and it's as if all the
wrong he's done to me, I forget about because it happened in the
past, or yesterday..., but all the wrong I do, it's like it'll
never be forgiven, even things, people, relationships I had
BEFORE him, he puts in my face and what my behavior was like
with them. "Oh, you would do this with them and you would do
that with them...", OR, "You did it with them why don't you do
it with me?". I told him,"I told you to be open with you, not so
you could put it in my face later". Nevermind he was a marine
and can't think of how many women he's been with and was engaged
to and used. But do I put it in his face, NO. Why? I DON'T KNOW!
Not to mention whenever I start talking, he'll talk over me and
never answer my questions when I ask him. Arrrgh. Why do I put up
with it, maybe because I hope to much.