Queen of the 2 week dates...
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 09-04-2005 - 2:00pm |
Hi everyone......my first time posting on this particular message board. I have been reading some of the posts and share the same sentiments. I've been divorced for 4 years and am the queen of the 2 week or less dating scenario. The last 4 years have been filled with guys I meet and date for 2 weeks or less. Each time I meet someone, I have hope that maybe, just maybe this one will be different. But, alas, they never are. It doesn't matter what age (I've dated older and younger) what they do for a living, what they look like or anything else. I feel like I am looking for a proverbial needle in a haystack.
I'll be 40 in a few weeks. All of my girlfriends mid-30s and up are in the same boat. We are not looking for husbands mind you, we're just looking for the right man to be with - a point I make clear to most men since even the word commitment or boyfriend puts most men in a scared frenzy. I thought I met a great one in this 28 year old guy. Handsome, smart, doctor in residency, great banter and great chemistry. But here we are at 2 weeks and well, he's ending up like everyone else.
I don't think I believe the theory that there is someone for everyone. I am successful at every other aspect in my life except relationships. Maybe I am not meant to be a relationship person. Anyone else feel this way or is just me?
Thanks for listening,
S

Hi sereneka!
Pianoguy can relate EXTREMEMELY WELL to your predicament. He has been "basically single" for nearly 5 years. There have been plenty of "close encounters"...but nothing serious!
The only difference between YOU and ME is this. I look at any new acquaintance as a GOOD FRIENDSHIP. If the friendship gradually progresses to higher level...GREAT! If it doesn't...then there are probably reasons why IT DIDN'T!
While you might 'hang out' with a group of women who are content to just date and not get serious, MOST of the women I KNOW eventually want some sort of a commitment! In other words, the "casual dating bit" becomes tiring (to them). So when a man doesn't want to take things further by maintaining the 'status quo'---many women begin to look in other directions!
It's just a suggestion....but perhaps you either need to 'make a few new friends?' Or seriously look at the reasons why you can't connect with any man LONGER THAN 2 WEEKS? . Most of us in the age frame you indicated WOULD PROBABLY ENJOY BEING IN THE COMPANY OF A GOOD WOMAN (LIKE YOU) FOR MORE THAN 2 WEEKS!
Pianoguy
Hi Piano Guy,
Thanks for the advice....I have many male friends that I have met that started out as dating possibilities and ultimately fell into the friendship category. In fact, making male friends is not a problem I have.
I do have to disagree with your theory about making friends with males first. I find that once I have deemed a male a friend, there is no crossing that line for a number of reasons, mostly it has to do with the fact that the physical chemistry is not there. I am not speaking for all women, but if the physical/emotional attraction is not there, no matter how friendly you get with one another, it won't progress further.
While I am not looking for marriage, I do want a special relationship. I'm sick of power dating. I know I sound jaded, but this last 2 week deal with this 28 year old who I thought was different, turned out to be like all the rest. I am so over it.
Sorry for venting....I know you are only trying to be helpful. thanks :-)