relationship advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2009
relationship advice
Sun, 12-13-2009 - 8:13pm

Hi All,

I am new to the boards and hoping for some thoughts. I am a college senior, almost 22 and been with my current bf for 5 years. We did have some time apart in those years- although we never got very involved with other ppl, we did have a little fun/experiences on our own, and we attend different college but have decided we just want to be with each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 9:07am

Give him a chance to let him get a job, and keep a job for the next few years. If he's the type that jumps from job to job, can't hold a job, or can't get one, then there's nothing you can do about it.

I think you are overanalyzing the situation right now as it is too early to tell whether or not he will get himself together. Another thing to keep in mind is that you are still in that "party" phase of life, and you both will need to have "the bottom drop out from under you" before you start getting serious about life and priorites. For example, if he racks up bills, then looses his job, or decides not to keep a job and spends more than he makes. Life will always hit you up side the head eventually, and you will make choices and figure out what's more important.

Another thing to keep in mind is that, if his behavior and actions aren't living up to your standards, and you have a feeling that things aren't going to change, then you need to listen to that. It sounds like you are paying attention to the signs he's displaying. What you are worrying about IS important, however it may take him a little bit longer than you to figure it all out. All I can say to that is to NOT waste your time with him the moment you feel his actions are turning you off. If you are looking for someone with as much drive and determination as you, then start looking for someone a few years older who's ready for the next step.