relationship doom???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
relationship doom???
2
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 4:14pm
Just wondering?
SO ( Signficant other) and I will have been together 3 months on the 19th of this month.....things are/were great but SO is 21,I am 30 ( I nomarally date younger and have great relationships)and well things seem odd at times...For two weeks now SO says they had had a bad feeling about something bad going to happen yet last night SO seemed really odd.says bad feeling if why yet up til now So has actted fine......So's family adores me which makes it even more tough.Lately I have been wondering if SO was the one for me,but thinking no.we seem to have very little to talk about.SO has ADD and blames everything on that,SO is always apologizing....I don't want anyone else but wonder???if I should even be in this relationhsip.....So has always been secretive about finaces and I feel SO does anything for me and doesn't let me know it is a finacial strain for them.We have had issues with SO's ex trying to come between us.So is trying to move her and says there are pressures from jobs(old and new one both) yet never really talks about it.Most importantly I am bored cause the conversation is almost non-existant,I feel we have nothing in common.I feel maybe this is not a bad thing??IN three months people get attached yet it is not for life?Can't it just not be the one???anyone any advice is great thanks,Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 8:39am
in 3 motnhs i think it may be hard to determine a committed life time relationship, especially with a 21 yr old. people change significantly in their mid 20's, im not saying it is impossible and unheard of, but unusual. you say you are bored, and its only been 3 months, maybe there is not much common ground for stimulating conversation because of the age difference. yes things could change but the first few months of a relationship are really the ones that set the mold of how things will be in the future. you should talk to him about this and see how he responds, if he wants to try then hang in there if not, meet someone new that is better suited for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 8:54am
Come on, you're not over the hill by any stretch. You don't have to settle for a relationship that is substandard. I am 47, my SO is ten years younger. The best relationship of my life. Ever. We've been together for over a year. I can count the number of "downs" (as in ups and downs) on two fingers. You CAN have exactly the type of man you want. You just can't settle for anything less. You have to expect that it is going to happen. Please get out of this if you aren't happy. At 21 he's pretty young and probably has a long way to go.
Besides, if the "ex" is causing so much trouble, and he's still involved with her enough to be moving her, there's more there than meets the eye. Let her deal with him.
Good luck. I wish you much happiness. Becky