Safe unaffectionate poor safe bfriend
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| Mon, 04-18-2005 - 9:37pm |
My story is so long, I'll try very hard to put it in a nutshell: I am 29, attractive but with a 'little' weight problem (5'3, 155- see my other post) and have been in a relationship for 6 years (how time flies), which I am recently giving a lot of thought because I am not sure this is the man I want to marry. And the reasons why: he is 34 and works for $10 per hour, which in this area is almost like minimum wage, he has a BA but never utilized it because over the last 6 yrs he couldn't find a decent job. Bottom line: he does not have a career. Financially we get by, make ends meet and live paycheck to paycheck. In his defense I don't have a solid career going either but I work very hard for my money, often 6 days a week, whereas he works 5 days but I have no real resentment there because he works hard M-F as well. I just always imagined that I would be with someone who can support a family while I raise a child for a couple of years if we were to have one one day. In our present situation this would never be possible because without my income we couldn't pay the basic bills. I won't even mention trading our tiny condo for a house with a yard.
Sex is okay, nothing spectacular but I truly am OK with it since I am not the most sexual person.
He is a nice person with flaws, like anyone else. I wish he was more affectionate, however, more romantic, more thoughfull ... but I guess I would settle for anything at this point, as long as he would provide me with a middle class lifestyle. So I guess most things come back to the financial aspects of our relationship.
I have been thinking A LOT about leaving my bofriend in order to pursue something that would give me hope for a more succesful life, moving to a better neighborhood, being able to send our child to a private school, etc. I don't have material things in mind like cars and expensive houses, though.
Here's a problem: I'm terrified of not finding anyone who would want to marry me. I would be near 30 or 30 once I would be single again and I really wouldn't have much time to look before my biological clock will expire. I am beyond terrified when I think about dating again. I am so set in my ways, I cringle when I think about having to shave my legs everyday again, always having to look pretty with makeup and hair done.
And there the whole dating scene. Will I ever find anyone? I hate bars and clubs, what else is there left? I am too old to believe that my prince will arrive on a white horse without me even looking...
Then there's thing with my health: I have a condition which there is no cure for and it basially makes me go to the bathroom ever 2 hrs or so. I understand some men would not want to deal with someone who isn't 100% healthy and this depresses me too.
I don't know what I'm asking here. Should I look for a new man or do I have enough going to at least know that this guy can give me kids, if nothing else.
When I was 25 I used to think that I couldn't be with someone who wouldn't give our family a certain lifestyle. Now that I'm pushing on 30, I don't know what's worst: being poor or being lonely.

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I don't care what you say about Wal-Mart...they are a major employer in this area. If it weren't for them, a lot of people would be out of work and the taxpayers would be paying for more than their health-care coverage. Who pays for yours, by the way??
YOU ARE A VERY IGNORANT WOMAN. I PAY FOR MY OWN COVERAGE (300 PER MONTH) BECAUSE I AM NOT WORKING PRESENTLY. YOU NEED TO EDUCATE YOURSELF OF HOW MUCH BAD WALMART IS DOING FOR OUR COUNTRY. THERE ARE NUMEROUS WEBSITES DEVOTED TO ANTI WALMART EDUCATION.
I BET YOU DON'T EVEN RECYCLE. SUCH UNEDUCATED COMMENTS COULD ONLY COME FROM SOMEONE WHO DOESNT GIVE A D*** ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY AND ITS FUTURE. DO YOU THINK THE INSURANCE INDUSTRY AND HEALTHCARE ARE FAIR ALSO?
yikes im sure there are 60+ posts on here for a reason. all i can say is that this thread is rather depressing to read as a woman.
i'm 26, went to an ivy league college, put myself through law school on loans and now make a 6-figure salary in my first year out. and i work my butt off. it is such an empowering, amazing feeling to know that i don't need any man to financially support me and i'm doing more than fine on my own. no help from mommy or daddy either.
i only date men with successful careers, but not because i NEED them for their bank account. because we're on the same wave-length, a career is important to me and hell i want my guy to be pulling his weight.
plenty of people want a simplier, slower life than i do. that's totally valid. but to want some guy to support your lavish lifestyel while you sit home with the kids, give me a break. that's just lame.
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