seeing best friend in different way

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2009
seeing best friend in different way
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 1:51pm

One of my closet friends is a guy and we've been best friends for about 7 years. Nothing has ever happened between us and we've always kept those lines clear - but in recent months I've started to feel different. We've been friends for so long, we know each other so well that we refer to each other as siblings and our friends refer to us as the 'old married couple'. However, I'm now single and he's in a rocky relationship and my mind has been wondering towards seeing him as more. I guess being perfectly honest, I did have a crush on him before I knew him in University but we were both with others and we just evolved into best friends. Now after relationships good and bad for both of us, I catch myself thinking 'what if'.

We sleep in the same bed and nothing happens, I stay at his house and vice versa and its completely platonic. We also say we love each other but in a way that I'd say it to any of my girlfriends. I guess now that i'm single and have no other guy to occupy my mind - i drift off into thinking what if.. But I guess I don't know if I'm serious about it or its just because there is no one else to take that place.
The worst thing would be to tell him and then A) have him not feel the same or B) tell him but not be really sure of my feelings.

I guess, I also fear losing a close friend. I just don't know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 1:52pm

Do you think he feels the same about you? Perhaps that's why he's in a rocky relationship now? Do you think he'll leave that relationship if you tell him how you feel? Or is it truly just a fear of losing his friendship that has you holding back?

Is he more than a friend?