Sending Mixed Signal or Very Slow?
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| Thu, 07-14-2005 - 9:46am |
Earlier this year I met a wonderful person who has showed me the way. Despite the circumstances I met him under; it really seems he is interested in me. Or at least I think he is. I don't want to lead myself on.
Since October 2004, I've had chances in my life which have change me entirely.
My grandma pasted away.
I lost my job.
My Husband moved out.
My son is in his "Terrible Twos' Stage" (highly active, needing lots of love/attention).
I was one step away from breaking down. No family No Love No Job No Life No Money.Getting more depressed by the minute with my son tugging at me needing his mommies love.
Eventually, I got help at a center. A special advocate was assign to me since my situation was special.
From the first moment I saw him (my assigned advocate) I knew there was something, I felt it deep inside, asside from all the emotional stress and chaotic situation I was going through. There was a chill that ran up my spin and I felt a knot in my stomach, and smiled nervously. I could tell he did too.
In our first meeting, (same day) we spent four hours together without a break. He was so interested in me, he made me feel safe. At first I thought it was just me trying to find comfort in someone with power. Like a crush. I mean what can I offer him, single mother with no goals, no job and a low self esteem. He is the total opposite, great personality, good career, single, and well off.
I spent an entire month at the center. He was helping me make decissions and showing me different options I never new existed. He motivated so much I went back to school. He pulled strings somehow and I even got a grant for college and childcare assistance. He spent so much time with me I knew there was something. I got to know him on a personal level as a friend. He called me constantly and took me to lunch. I was probably just exiting the building and I already had a message from him.
He started walking me to my car, and giving me hugs when I left. Most importantly, never disrespected me, or made a pass at me. He did tell me I was pretty, but thats it, nothing further. I started liking him.
I started school the following month, so I got busy with school. He would call me once a week to see how I was doing. I figured thats his job and got over the crush I had. I did realize however that our relationship was different from other clients. It just so happen one of my classmates in school was from the same center as I and we shared the same advocate. She did not like him at all and always complained on how he never followed through with her. She was also giving me messages from him. He wanted me to call him.
I finally called him and managed to keep a friendly relationship. No big deal.
Most recently, He started calling me at home and weekends and holidays. On my days off from school I'll stop by at the center and we talk a good three hours or more, we go for walks, and lunch. We are very good friends, even though his my advocate. He's even invited himself to my house to keep me company and watch movies. Never actually came over but he did call to cancel. He always calls me at least once a day or every other day.
I really think he likes me but then I wonder why he won't make a move? The signs are all there. He saids he doesn't have a girlfriend. We share a lot of simular traits, he always makes it a point to let me know, when we exchange information. I wish I knew what it was it's been almost 6 months and nothing yet. What do you think of this? Help!!!

Well, it seems to me there are two scenarios that are most likely: 1) You've talked yourself in to believing he has a thing for you because you need that right now and really he's just do doing his job and simply enjoys his professional realtionship with you more then he might with a different person he is the advocate for. 2) He actually has a thing for you but is trying to keep the realtionship professional.
There's really only one way to know for sure and that's to put it out there and let him know your interested and see how he responds.
I know that isn't easy and means being vulnerable, but if you ever want to find love again you'll have to learn to do that. At least you know for sure if he isn't interested he will be kind about telling you, which is more then you might get from some men in your dating future.