Should I be worried

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Should I be worried
3
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 2:48pm
The guy I have been dating for about three months is about ready to hire an assitant. One night when we were out at the bar he introduced me to her and she is an absolute KNOCK OUT blonde. I don't think I have anything to worry about because he did introduce me to her and he has been open and not weird about hiring her. We also go on the subject that she recently had a baby (not that you can tell) and I asked him if he would ever consider dating someone with a kid, and he said absolutely not. And he takes his job very seriously I would hope that he knows the rule of that sleeping with your assistant would be trouble and his co workers would frown upon it big time. Am I just justifing this to make myself feel better or do I really have nothing to worry about. Are guys capable of having a strictly work relationship with a gorgeous women who they are around all the time?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:31pm

Of course guys are capable of that! But is yours? No one here can tell you that better than you could tell yourself that. Do you already have trust issues with him or are you just feeling a little insecure over her being so good looking? I'm not an expert on things, however, I DO know a little about insecurity (LOL) and I know that it sucks to feel "the ickies" as I call them. I don't have much advice over how to overcome those feelings. Sorry. What I will say is this:

Insecurity is NOT attractive no matter who it's coming from or why. It's a huge turn off and even if it's the only turn off, it can be a big deal. Especially if this guy is going to feel any kind off 'walking on egg shells' vibe with you.

A friend of mine once said "When your spouse (or SO) talks alot about 'Terry' from the office and the funny/helpful/brainless thing he/she did or said, etc. you don't have to worry about Terry. It's when all the sudden you STOP hearing about Terry, that you need to worry"

I think the fact that he has introduced you is a good sign that he's not trying to hide anything. That there is nothing to hide. Most people who take their carrers seriously know that you don't poop where you eat, so to speak. Unless there are other things that have caused mistrust, I would say to not make too much of this.

I hope something in this helped even if just a little!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 8:22am
If this guy is committed to dating you, he won't cross the line. Unless you have a good reason to be insecure about this, I'd say you just need to get over it. Don't let this insecurity interfere with a relationship that's going well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 9:41am
I agree with the previous posts. Unless your guy has given you a reason to doubt you shouldn't. Yeah it sucks that this girl will be working with him on a daily basis but temptation is everywhere. When someone is 100% complete they will see no reason to stray so remember that. Best of luck and keep us posted!