should i break up with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2006
should i break up with him?
2
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 8:29pm
I dated this guy for several years and we had an ugly break up about 2 years ago. We got back together after less than a year apart, and in the past year his poker habits have grown. He plays all the time and I hate it. He dropped out of college several years ago, and has not completed his degree. I met him when I was 18, and I have since finished my degree and have a great job that I love. I am considering going back to grad school. He could care less about his job, and just recently moved out of his house. I know this is a step, but his poker kills me and is holding him back from doing something better with his life. I am trying so hard to start life out right (I spend a lot of time at my job, and am working on my apartment and saving money and learning more about cooking, etc.) and he is refusing to grow up. I don't care if he never wants a degree, but he would rather play poker for a living!!!
I love him, and he loves me, but I don't know what to do. We are supposed to take a trip to California in a few weeks and it is going to cost a lot of money and things have been very awkward between us in the past few weeks because I am realizing more and more that we have different priorities and seem to be on 2 different pages.
I don't know if I should cancel on the trip, but more importantly I don't know if I should break up with him. It's been years, and I really do love him, but the poker thing is out of control AND he doesn't seem to want to find any direction whatsoever. He knows exactly how I feel about the whole thing.
We are still young (I'm 23, he's 25) but he has always been like this. Now I am starting to worry that he will never grow up and I will be the only responsible one in the relationship...
What would all of you do??? I love him but I don't want to waste more time on the wrong guy....
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 3:03am
It appears that he's a glambler and poker is his addiction. Gambling has been and will be his addiction. Poker is his priority, his job, his education and you come second to that. Your future with this man will be like it's been now, poker and more poker. Cancell the trip and cancell him out. Better to move on now than waste more tim eon him and the relationship that goes nowhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 9:41am

I think you answered all of your own questions, and that you've known the answer for a while, but it's hard to rip off that bandage, isn't it?

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