Should I do it??
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Should I do it??
| Sun, 10-23-2005 - 2:08am |
I have been communicating with and am about to go out on a date with a 27-year old man. I am a 40 year old woman. The thing is, he's moving to another state in a few months. Should I take the emotional risk on this? I/we could develop feelings for each other, only to have him move away. And since he's 27, a friend informed me that he probably only wants to have a good time (if you know what I mean). Any thoughts on what I should do?
I do want a meaningful relationship. Should I resign myself to the idea that this won't be it?

imhealing2004...
Pianoguy discovered a few missing pieces to the puzzle. So at the risk of writing something that may (or may not) apply, he'd like to toss out a few questions.
1. Is the 27-year old aware of the age difference between you?
2. Have you written words (and flirted) to the point where your expectations are different from his...or are you both on the same page when it comes to a relationship together?
3. Knowing that there's a move in HIS FUTURE...do you want to get 'emotionally involved' with a man who could TERMINATE your relationship based on the number of miles the 2 of you are apart?
Those are just a few of my thoughts. I'm sure other ivillagers have a few others?
Pianoguy
Piano Guy,
to answer your questions.
1. Yes, he's aware of it.
2. We haven't done any flirting. I'm not sure what he wants in terms of a relationship with any girl right now and he's moving.
3. I don't know.
Please keep your thoughts coming. I appreciate the guys viewpoint. Thanks.
imhealing2004...
Considering the fact that 2 out of your 3 answers to PG's earlier questions...were UNCERTAIN....you might want to proceed cautiously with this gentleman.
The age difference apparently isn't an issue between you? But I'd be more than a little nervous if I "gave my heart to another person" only to get the classic response:
"I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW?"
This sort of reaction would definitely send up a "red flag!"
Pianoguy
Unless you just want a fling, which you say you don't, it makes no sense to meet or get involved with this man.
Sheri
imhealing2004....
ABSOLUTELY!
Pianoguy
Yeah, but that's just the point. Unless you can go into it KNOWING that you are ok with it just being a fling and KNOWING that you can not allow yourself to fall for him, it's a huge risk.
Sheri
Men are (as a VERY general rule) much more able to separate sex from feelings, so it's not nearly as big a risk for him, most likely.
Sheri