Should I do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
Should I do it?
9
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 9:54pm
Hi everyone!
So here is my situation. I had a crush on this guy I worked with but the problem was that I had a boyfriend and he knew about him. I finally broke up with my boyfriend, not just for this crush but for many other reasons, but now the guy I liked quit and I can't stop thinking about him. I dont know if he liked me or not because I would talk to him at work but he seemed a little distant. Some of my friends told me it was proably because I had a boyfriend. He told a co-worker of mine that if I didnt have a boyfriend he would have asked me out. Anyways I found out where this guy is working now and I went there a couple of times looking for him but I had no luck. Now Im thinking of asking a friend of his that I still work with for his phone number and calling him and asking him out. Im really, really, nervous. I have never asked a guy out before and Im wondering if this just is a crazy thing to do, or if anyone has advice about this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: emd325
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 8:18am

emd325...


Rather than call him....what's wrong with finding a nice (possibly humorous) snail mail friendship card and sending it to his new work address?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
In reply to: emd325
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 5:09pm
so you think calling would definently scare him off even if Im casual about it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
In reply to: emd325
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 2:31am

Hi emd325,

Haha, I love that idea pianoguy :O). Anywho, I think that if you're nervous about calling him that pianoguy's idea is really cute, funny, and it's not as scary as a one on one conversation. However, if you can sum up the courage to make that call I'm pretty sure that this mutual work friend (the one who gave you the other guy's number) has probably already informed your crush that you are planning on calling him (less pressure!). Either way I think that you should go for it! Even if you get rejected (worst case scenario), nobody minds being told that someone likes them! I know I'm flattered when someone tells me they like me; why would it be any other way?

If it were me I'd call him up...I'd be nervous as hell but I'd go for it ;O).

Good Luck :O)!!
Yvy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: emd325
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 4:06am

Hon, if asking him out on a date scares him off, then he's not the one for you. The most important thing when dating is to be yourself.

If you're a 'forward' person, then there's not need to hide it. You see, if you hide your real self, then your boyfriend will be falling for a fake you and not the real you.

Anyway, if it were me, I'd call him. When I look back on my life, I see too many missed opportunites ;-)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
In reply to: emd325
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 3:29pm
I disagree with the last person's comment that if you're scared to call him, he's not the right one...calling up a guy is nervewracking, especially if 1) u barely know him or don't know him or 2)you aren't used to doing that type of thing...i mean, you're usually risking rejection, going out on a limb, etc.
So i wouldn't say nervousness has to do w/ whether the guy "is the right one" but just natural nerves.
go for it! what have you got to lose? :-)
that's what i have to tell myself: really, what's the worst thing that could happen? Generally, just the possiblility that he isn't interested...most guys are flattered and like it if a girl calls them, even if they don't like the girl...and most of em wouldn't say, look don't call me, or be harsh about it...besides, even if nothing develops, you can still be friends right? as long as you're both on the same page about where u stand, what kind of a relationship you have...
good luck!
keep us posted :-)
~LL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: emd325
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 4:45pm

ladylothlorien...


As all women react differently in various situations....so do men!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
In reply to: emd325
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 5:31pm
hey everyone,
Thanks for your replies! So as an update, I did go up to his friend and got the number. I called him after I got off work, but his phone wasn't on so I just left a casual message. Who knows if I will hear from him or not. But now his friend is talking to me alot at work, and taking breaks with me, and Im going to a club tonight with my sister and I think he might show up there. I told him to invite my crush too but I dont know if he will or not. We will just see what happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
In reply to: emd325
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 3:29am

Hi emd,

Woo! Good for you for calling him!

Hope all goes well :OD!
Yvy.
**PS did you ever think that your worker friend might like you...?;O)**

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
In reply to: emd325
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 8:30pm
hey
so last night we went to the club and I hung out with his friend. He did invite my crush but he didnt show up so I guess he is not interested. I know his friend likes me though. His friend seems cool, we have things in common and might be a better fit for me.Although the other guy is really hot!!!! Oh well. But his friend is very nervous around me. He talked ALOT about all kinds of stuff but kept going on and on and on...... If he can get past being nervous, i might date him, but Im not rushing into anything serious.