Should I hold my breath or let it go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Should I hold my breath or let it go?
5
Sun, 08-15-2010 - 10:54pm
Ok so my friend and I both like each other. He has expressed to me many many times that he is very attracted to me physically since the first time he saw me and he jokes around a lot with me sexually. We're both involved with someone else but he's involved with a girl he's constantly complaining about. It's sad. He talks to me on the phone more than he speaks to her and he admitted that he sleeps in a seperate room in her home that they share. Well while she was away we had sex! It started because I was upset and he asked if he could come over to make sure I was ok. He even told me to please say yes and that he would leave after he saw that I was ok if I wanted. He asked several times on the way and once while in my home if I was sure I was ok with him coming over which I thought was sweet. So after a good convo where he told me some deep things that not even his girl knows (and he shed much tears), we got frisky and afterwards he stayed the night and we held ea other. The next day, his girl called him saying she wants to work on things. Now he feels bad he cheated but doesn't regret it and he says that he really wants to work on their relationship also. Then the next day he drives all the way to my house (while in excruciating pain from his bad knee) to clean my car battery and then we hung out and chatted then he drove us to ihop for breakfast. He even drove back to ihop for me to pick up some food i forgot. All because he wanted me to sit down, eat, and relax. He had a meeting to go to and he asked me if it was ok for him to go or if I preferred for him to stay with me. He even holds doors for me and stares at me when i walk away lol. Do you think this guy really wants to be with me and should I just wait patiently with expectancy or let that hope go?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 08-16-2010 - 4:48pm

"He asked several times on the way and once while in my home if I was sure I was ok with him coming over which I thought was sweet"
Is it "sweet" or is it him trying to cover his own ass?

"Do you think this guy really wants to be with me and should I just wait patiently with expectancy or let that hope go?"

I think he wants to stay with this chick he doesn't have the balls to leave and have sex with you on the side.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 8:33am

Wow, does he really know how to play you! What a stereotypical, common ploy of men who cheat! 'Oh, my woman doesn't understand me. We hardly ever have sex. I really don't want to be with her because.......but I can't break up with her because....."


A mature man with ethics who is not happy with a woman will make a clean break with her before starting something with another woman.


Why do you want a man who is taken? Why do you buy his BS? Don't you feel guilty having sex with another man's woman? Would you like another woman doing that to you? If he actually broke up with her and said you were his girlfriend, he would be telling the next sucker how you two don't sleep in the same room, and how she is so much more fun than

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 11:02am
Actually... I really don't feel bad for having sex with him! I do feel bad that he feels bad that he messed up with his girl now and only because we both had sex under the assumption that things were over between the two of them. He wasn't expecting for her to call him out of the blue to tell him that she wants to work on things. I am currently married but seperated so I knew what I was doing. I wanted to have sex with this guy because I am very attracted to him plus I wanted to be distracted from all the pain that i'm going through with my husband. I didn't expect that my feelings for this guy were going to intensify but I guess that's the difference between men and women. He says that he doesn't regret having sex but he's worried that things will truely be over with his girl now once he tells her that he cheated on her. Anyway, I guess i'm in desperate need of love an affection and i'm very emotional, so falling for him was easy. I wouldn't mind a relationship with him in the future though should it work out that way. Anyway, anymore comments would be helpful. Thanks guys!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2010
Sun, 08-22-2010 - 10:32pm

I don't buy this last post one bit.


Yes, you're probably insecure, starving for attention-companionship, emotional, physical affection for whatever reasons based on your background and past. You sound as if you are yearning for him; slightly to thoroughly pouring out from the begginning to end of this last post----"I wouldn't mind a relationship with him in the future though should it work out that way".

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 8:16pm

Honestly,


This doesnt sound the basis for a 'meant to be'.


Everyone cheats for a reason. Whether they are unhappy, seeking some attention, or its just their M.O.


I wont say 'once a cheater, always a cheater' - because its just not true.


But if you are only seperated and not divorcing, and he is still with his girlfriend, your starting this on shaky ground anyway.


It sounds like it could end up being more drama and excitment than relationship.

 KRYSTYN