Should I still date him?
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|Mon, 10-05-2009 - 1:17pm|
I was hoping to get some opinions from members of this board. I started dating this guy (we have only gone out 4 times). I had met him last year and we only started dating recently. He is the nicest guy you could ever meet. He compliments me all the time, opens the car door for me, etc. He is alot of fun to be with. I have never had a bad time with him.
Well, the issue I have with him is his finances. He owns his own trucking company business. He usually works daily but sometimes things are slow and he doesn't work. He told me that he had to take out a loan a while ago to get his business going, which is understandable. He seems like a hard worker and I know truckers can make good money. I am not the type of woman that is looking for a guy with tons of money. I just want someone that has a stable job and I get along with and I can fall in love with.
Anyways, I was at his apartment one day and I happened to notice a huge pile of (which looked like bills) on the kitchen table. He didn't see me and I wasn't evesdropping. It was just laying there. Some were opened and others were unopened. I noticed some letters from the IRS and other bank statements that said delinquent. I don't understand why he would have all of that stuff laying on a table for all to see? I would put that stuff away. After I saw it, I didn't mention anything at all. No questions. It really isn't any of my business. But I think it would be if we got closer and we were dating exclusively.
Well, we were sitting on the couch and he brought up the papers on the table. He said he was gonna clean up all of that so it's not so messy. I felt it was a good opportunity to ask about it. All I said was, "are those bills?" He said no, it was his trucking company stuff and other things people are trying to sell him. But I clearly saw other things like bank statements and IRS letters (which I didn't confront him with).
I don't know what to do. I know that people have issues with money and things happen in life. I don't think badly of him in any way. He is the nicest guy I have ever met and I genuinely think he likes me (as I do like him too). I just wouldn't want to get into anything like if we become serious and end up getting married...usually both people's money gets put together. I, myself, have debt and am not proud of it. But I know I would have to know his whole story before any talk of marriage is brought up. Oh, also, he has mentioned marriage...not really with him and me, but kind of in a joking manner, like he wants to get married, have the house, kids and everything. I don't like when people bring that stuff up so early on in a relationship.
He sent me an email this morning and asked if I was ok? I sent him one back saying I wanted to call him and what would be a good time? So I am planning on calling him tonight. I know talking about money is a touchy subject, but I don't know what to do. I was thinking about just saying we should just be friends now or tone things down a bit. I really don't