Should I tell her how I feel?
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| Mon, 10-10-2005 - 10:49am |
I met this girl I really like at several parties throughout the summer. Finally I asked her for some contact info in July. We didn't get to going out until September though because she was busy and then I had started seeing someone and then that ended.
I have gone on two dates with her over the past couple of weeks. I met her yeterday for a coffee to help her with a project she was working on but it was short because she needed to get home to work on it. We haven't really kissed or anything mostly because I think she is shy and also only wants to do that if she knows someone and is dating them. It feels ambiguous. Some apects of it feel like dating. Others feel like friendship. I tell I like her and how great she is and how much I enjoy spending time with her...so she must know I like her romantically...am I correct to assume that?
Her work is also sometimes busy so we will probably not have an actual date with her and I until next week sometime.
She phones me and we talk (sometimes for hours), she gives off signals (like sitting close to me and touching her leg to my leg t a prty the other night) but I feel that maybe she is waiting for me to take the risk of asking her if she is interested in dating or that she just wants to take thing slowly. I've been waiting for it to just happen kind of naturally but I think she may actually appreciate it when a guy puts himself out there by clearly stating what he wants.
So I was thinking that I would just express that I would like us to date and that I like her romantically. It feels so awkward and strange. I feel like a high school teenager now when I am around her and I've been dating a lot lately and haven't felt this nervous. We are both in our 30s.
Should I wait for her to bring it up or should I? Should I just state how I feel about her and what I want from everything. I haven't yet because it feels premature but still maybe that is what she wants.
Edited 10/10/2005 10:52 am ET ET by catalone2005

Maybe what I have been doing is okay then.
I have been making suggestions about future things we could do.
I have been talking about the sort of things I value in a relationship.
I have been telling her how much I enjoy spending time with her.
I helped her with a project she is working on by prrofreading it and giving her advice.
I have been asking her a lot of questions aout what she likes to do and what she thinks about things. I then highlight when we have commonalities.
Maybe the status quo is good and I should just keep doing this. I am just worried about her placing me in a friendzone so I am trying to let her know that I have romantic intentions while also operating within her comfort zone. Is it a bad sign that we haven't kissed yet? We have had lengthy hugs at the end of the dates. We've had two dates and numerous conversations over the past two weeks.
Edited 10/10/2005 11:17 am ET ET by catalone2005
Edited 10/10/2005 11:18 am ET ET by catalone2005
As a woman, I know I appreciate a little persistence so it's probably good to ask her out again if you're both having a good time. If she knows you like her romantically and she doesn't ignore your calls and refuse your dates, she's probably just taking it slow. As long as you feel like she's interested, that is. I hate to say it but there are women out there who will lead a guy on. You won't know unless you spend more time together... and eventually, you'll get to the point where you can just ask her how she feels.
>>Does she know the times you've been out have been "dates"? Or does she think it's just meeting for coffee to help with a project? Either she's not on the same page as you or she's just taking it slow.
Well after our first time out I e-mailed her and then said I had a lot of fun with her and that we hould have another date. Then I made some suggestions and we went to a party this past Friday. So he hasn't corrected me or ignored me. I didn't really define the project thing as a date but I did indicate that I was just nice to see her and spend time with her.
Sounds like you're doing all the right things and that you're just going to have to wait and see. This seems to be one thing men and women have in common when it comes to dating someone we like... we want to know "right now" how the other person feels. Unfortunately, we don't always know how we feel right away. Have some patience... some of the greatest relationships come from building a solid foundation.
Like I said...I think you should keep dropping hints so that you don't fall into the friend zone. I think she is interested just taking it slow. So far so good though. Good luck!