Shouldn't have done it??
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| Mon, 03-27-2006 - 11:31pm |
This guy I work with... He's a very single, gorgeous, self-proclaimed "bad boy". I was/am very attracted to him, but didn't want the sex-in-the-workplace thing. So, I repeatedly turned him down.
Bluntly, I couldn't take it anymore, and we had sex. Everything changed. But, strangely. He stopped flirting with me, but he began calling me endearing names, and touching me in front of everyone. (And, especially when it was just me and him.) But, yet, where he had called me A LOT before, he completely stopped calling me. One minute he's acting like he is so into me, the next it's as if he doesn't even know I'm in the room. Sometimes he'll walk right by me as if I'm not standing there. (No, he doesn't act this way with anyone else.)
Liquor and lust... So, what's one more time, right? But, when it came down to it, he rejected me, said he was going to go, could he come over the next night?? I was stunned and shocked. The next day at work, we pretty much ignored each other. Then his friend tells me how they met some girls, boasting they have dates. I couldn't even look at him after that. And of course, he became prince charming...
I feel hurt and angry. And sick to my stomach. And I know I shouldn't... If he's not into me - fine. But, what is with the hot and cold? We act so immature... I really don't like that. How am I supposed to act around this man now? What do I say to him? What do I do when he walks past me as if I'm not there? We have to work together everyday. And other people are starting to talk...
Oh, he's 30, and I'm about 15 years older. (In the beginning, he told me not to let the age thing matter...)
I appreciate any advice you may have. And thank you.

I'm sorry to say it, but it sounds like he might enjoy the effect of manipulating you like this. I'm sure it's nothing personal...it's probably a pattern he follows with all of his "conquests".
I would say nothing to him but what you absolutely have to for professional reasons...but do behave professionally. You need to find your inner dignity and just suck it up, basically pretend that the whole thing never happened, at least whenever you're at work.
I'm sorry...I can't imagine this is easy. You made a mistake, it happens...don't beat yourself up. It happened, and now you need to focus on not letting this have a negative effect on your career.
Sheri
Ouch, his behavior towards you must really sting! It sounds like you were a big conquest to him. He thinks he's such a stud to get the attractive older woman, and then toss her aside. Well, that's why we call them "bad boys" - they sure make us feel bad don't they?
You ask, "How am I supposed to act around this man now?"
Like he was just any other Joe in the office - act professionally.
"What do I say to him?"
Nothing.
"What do I do when he walks past me as if I'm not there?"
Keep walking or talking with whomever you're with. He did not walk past you. He does not exist to you. Ignore him.
"We have to work together everyday."
Speak only about work related things to him. Pretend you don't know him any other way. You must act this way because your job reputation depends on it.
"And other people are starting to talk."
Ignore them too.
I feel for you, and I hope things get better soon.