Situation with crush of 3 years

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2005
Situation with crush of 3 years
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 2:53am

I'm looking for advice for the following situation I'm in...

I'm in my 20s. I

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 9:36am

It does kind of sound like he's traveling with a person (probably female) important enough to be included in "we". But I can't tell you for sure.

Consider for a moment that you are in the position you are in now (anxious, confused) because of your fear of being straightforward. So if I'm reading your post correctly, you've been hanging onto this problem now for at least two years! And it could have been avoided if a) you didn't freeze up at the time he said he liked you, or b) you were okay with returning his interests over the phone or in an Email or something because you didn't have the opportunity to say it in person. If you always wait for the absolute perfect opportunity to express yourself, you'll miss out on a lot of opportunities. You may very well have missed out on this one but I REALLY HOPE you haven't.

There's never a better time than RIGHT NOW to change things. I have no idea why you want to wait to be devastated in person when you possibly meet his girlfriend by surprise. That's going to suck, big time. If you two are good friends and have a connection, why can't you ask him if he's seeing anyone? That's the sort of question friends should be able to ask one another. At least two years after he confessed his "like" for you, he's probably dated people. Why not just ask him the next time you talk to him? At least then you'll know what to expect, won't you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 6:02pm
I do feel for you - it sounds like you're very worried and nervous about his visit. It does sound like, as the previous poster has said, that he is travelling with someone. I have to say that I have been in a similar situation but in his shoes with a guy I fell for and had an amazing connection with. We almost tip toed around each other. I told him I liked him and he responded in a similar manner. If he felt like me he'd probably have felt rejected and very embaressed for saying something. So i feel like with you not mentioning anything at any point of your like back for him he'll have tried to move on :-( I think you need to decide if you want to be honest with him and enquire about the gf or unfortunately you'll have to wait and potentially feel upset when you see him. I think he's gonna have found it very hard if he felt anything like I did. Saying that, only ask about a gf if you really and truly have strong feelings for him still though. Just take care of you heart and think about his.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 12:00pm
(HUGS) I can imagine that is a difficult situation to be in! It does sound like he has a girlfriend. Maybe you could write him a letter and tell him how you feel?