Snobby boyfriend won't propose
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Snobby boyfriend won't propose
| Thu, 01-12-2006 - 12:09pm |
I have been with my boyfriend, on and off, for over 2 years now. I am 22 years old and he is my first serious boyfriend. In the beginning of the relationship, he wore his heart on his sleeve and talked about the future very often. He was humble and awkward, and I loved it. He gave me sweet, thoughtful compliments and nice gifts on occasions. But now that he is older and nearing college graduation, he is so much more reserved. His attitude did a complete 180 and I suddenly feel like I'm not good enough for him. He is extremely arrogant and constantly brags about his potential (meanwhile, I'm not in school and am on unemployment). He is incredibly selfish and snobby (though he currently lives on his mother's dime). He stopped mentioning the future and quickly changes the subject whenever I bring it up. His future career totally took my place as his #1 priority. He completely stopped attempting to please me sexually and expects me to do all of the work in the bedroom. It's like he's stopped trying to make me happy, which he should want to do. I could be wrong, but I'm starting to feel like he's holding out for a more successful girl, one that will fit (and contribute to) the elegant lifestyle he craves. I am too good to him for it to be something that I'm doing wrong. I was recently fired, don't have a car, and am very family-oriented (not career-oriented). I think these things may label me a loser in his eyes and are preventing him from proposing to me, even though he loves me. What else could it be?

" I think these things may label me a loser in his eyes and are preventing him from proposing to me, even though he loves me. What else could it be?"
If, and that's a humungus IF, that's the case why in the world would you even WANT a guy who labels you a "loser"!?!
Unfortunately, the truth here is much more painful. After two years he *doesn't want* to marry you. But he's too cowardly and selfish (this you know) to let you go. After all, he's got you smootching his behind, giving him no-strings-attached sex (face it, there are no strings because he's behaving this way and he hasn't been cut off), and basically breaking the cardinal rule of NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION!
Muster up your pride and dignity woman! Choose a man worthy of the wonderful you, instead of desperately waiting for this one to choose you.
And if he did propose, would you say yes in light of everything you've written about him? He's treating you like crap. Does a proposal erase all of this? It sounds like things have reached a dysfunctional place with the two of you. I can't imagine how a proposal would suddenly fix everything.
One thing I hate to see women do is idealize the marriage proposal to the point that it almost doesn't matter who the ring comes from. We somehow think engaged or married women are happier and luckier than those who aren't. Don't fall for this and don't tie your happiness and self-worth to a "snobby boyfriend."
Your post is very revealing and I suspect contains the answers you need as far as how to proceed with this guy.