So, just how sincere is he with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
So, just how sincere is he with me?
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 12:19pm

I probably know the answer to this, but I thought I'd swing in for re-assurance ....

I got back together with my boyfriend, who broke it off with me 6 months ago to be with a girl he met online. It broke my heart, but I dealt. He texted me last Friday, saying he missed me and asked what I was doing. So, like a fool, I went right to him. We talked and he said it just didn't work out with this other girl. I thought we would connect that weekend, but he was just too busy.

Finally, on Monday, we got together at his place. It was there, that he told me that this other girl and him just didn't connect. So I asked him what he did that weekend (he was out of town in an unfamiliar place, alone) and he said that her friend spent the weekend with him, showing him around and giving him an enjoyable weekend. Then, he proceeds to tell me that they exchanged information and talk regularly.

This, again, has broken my wounded heart. But, I'm going to let it go. Early Monday, he had to go in for a clinical thing, I took him and while I was waiting, his phone went off. It was a text, I looked (i know, bad girl... but I'm kinda mad). and it was from a girl ... the girl he met that weekend. I opened it and she wished him well, that she would be thinking about him and that she couldn't wait to hear from him again, and that a weekend around her birthday would be perfect to see each other again .... then, I noticed that HE CALLED HER AT 3:30am and talked for about a half hour!!!! WHAT?!!?

So, I looked further. He is calling her first thing in the morning, during his lunch break, when he gets home form work and for about an hour at a time, every night, before bed ... EVERY DAY! ..... I don't talk to him that much and he supposedly misses me!

So, give it to me straight .... how stupid am I for taking him back, and how sincere is he with me? I believe he is interested in this other girl, but is using me for comfort and ease, since I am here and she is there.

Edited 10/22/2009 1:39 pm ET by bitosunshine
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2007
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 2:24pm
As you already said, you know the answer to this. It's obvious. Don't let him play you. He probably is playing you, her and that girl he supposedly met online and supposedly

~*The One and Only *Kiya*~


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 2:58pm

I completely agree with Kiya. You already know the answer here, but if you need to have strangers "give it to you straight", on a scale of one to stupid, taking him back and believing anything he says

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 12:38pm

I agree with the previous posters...for the most part, one thing that bothers me is the timeline.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 1:42pm
You weren't stupid for taking him back, but you would be if you didn't dump him right away. You know exactly what's going on. You do not need further investigation or explanation. Just leave and don't look back, sunshine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 2:28pm


You have already received some great advice. It seems to me like he is just using you to have the physical comfort of someome. I don't think he has feelings for you at this point. It also seems like he came back to you because the internet girl didn't work out. Is that what you want to be, his backup? You deserve better!!!!