Some advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2007
Some advice please
2
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 11:54pm

Hello... I posted this on another board, but thought that it may be more appropriate here.

I think I know the answers I'm going to get posting this, but I am at a total loss and I just need to get it out.

I met this guy a few weeks ago on the internet. We started corresponding religiously and then quickly turned into texts messages. After a few text messages, we starting talking on the phone. Our phone conversations were an hour plus long. We really hit it off and felt comfortable. After a week of phone calls and text messages, I went to his house for dinner. He is a full-time father and so I immediately met his son. His son was instantly attracted and we all hit it off. After the son was put to bed, we continued to talk and watch tv. Then one thing led to another and...yes, I stayed the night. It's not my typical MO, but I figured we were two consenting adults. The next morning everything was still good. I eventually went home, got cleaned up and then went back over. Again, I stayed the night. He continued to call and/or text everyday. Then he invited me back over later that week for a bbq with his friends (his son was not there). We all got along and everything was great. There were a few incidences throughout the night that he was not pleased with and he let it be known. I had hit him a couple of times throughout the night for something smart he said. They were more like love taps, but I guess they were harder than he had liked. Then after having sex, I made a comment about other women and that put him off. He told me that jealousy and insecurities don't get me anywhere. I heard it and listened and thought we had already addressed it.

This relationship is still very new and I am human. I want to know where I stand with the man I am sleeping and spending time with. So the next evening he brought it up again and I thought we were talking it out. Well, I haven't heard from him since. I let a day or so go by and then I texted him something short and sweet. He responded and that was that. I tried to call him later that day, but he didn't answer. I left a message but never heard back. It's now been a couple of days since I've left that message and still not a peep. I can understand that things don't work out with people, but that is not the vibe I got. I met his son. I stayed the night. I met his friends. He was ready to introduce me to his mom.

I know that most of you will say that I've only known him a short awhile and that I should just move on, but I feel like I've been broad-sided. I am taking full blame for the ending of this is it's driving me crazy. Just the night before he told me we had real potential and then I don't hear from him again. I don't get it. Please help and be compassionate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 5:22pm

"There were a few incidences throughout the night that he was not pleased with and he let it be known"

Can you explain what happened here? It seemed like it was big thought for you to "correct" him and was embarrassed for him.

You have already put the ball in his court. Now it's up to him if he wants to call back. I wouldn't make any more contact.

You met his son on the first date. I think that wasn't proper timing on his part. Seemed like everything went a wee bit too fast.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2007
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 3:25pm
Thank you, ALL, for your advice. Yes, it appears that things are over though he hasn't come straight out to say it. I know that men tend to be non-confrontational, but I was not just a friend that came over for lunch once in awhile. I have accepted it for what it is, but nonetheless, still hurt over this. I thought this one was going to work out but I was wrong.