SOOO CONFUSED!!! pls help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2005
SOOO CONFUSED!!! pls help!
3
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 2:01pm

Ok, so here goes:

I've been in a relationship for 6 months now. It was basically love at first sight for both of us. We spent a very happy and calm summer together and now that university is back into full swing (we are in the same faculty), I suddenly don't feel close to him at all. It's like I've lost all that comfort that I felt towards him over the summer. Now, I feel nervous when I'm about to see him and when I am waiting for him to call. It's like everything is back to the beginning when you first meet a guy. It's so insane. I don't know why and I dont like it at all.

Just to note that he hasn't done anything to make me feel this way. He is the most patient, understanding person. I love he loves me a lot. So i really dont know why I feel this way.

It basically has come to a point that I am not enjoying the relationship anymore because it's almost like I am becoming obsessive over him and absolutely crazy. I don't even know how to describe this feeling into words. I have never felt this way about a guy, and I don't know why it happened now..

I am so confused. =( I can't concentrate on anything except him and this odd feeling of mine.

Please help if you ever experienced this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 9:34pm

I have to say that this happens also to me. When I like someone/love them. I tend to lose myself in them. I suggest reading "Why Men Love Bitches...From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's guide to holding her own in a relationship". It is sort of a Sex for the City guide to Men are From Mars...

I think that this will help you see that Men think in a different way and we can hold the upper hand when we want. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 8:45am

Well, the only way to really resolve the problem is to examine what is confusing you. Try asking yourself soem hard questions and really think about them an analyze them from different angles and then give yourself a day or two to kind of rest on it and then maybe talk to him about your feelings, once you feel you cna better articulate them.

For example, why are you suddenly uncomfortable? Could it be that maybe things have been so easy with this guy that you're afraid something "has" to go wrong soon? Could it be that you're not in love, you're merely infatuated and you believe it has run it's course and yet fear the end even though you know it's time? Are you sure he has n't done anything that has made you uncomfortable? Maybe he pushed for a little too much emotional intimacy too fast and it made things feel a little forced and strained, not intitially becasue you were too in the moment but now you're instincts are trying to tell you something is "off"?

I could go on and on, maybe you could make yourself a list, but give some consious thought to why you are uncomfortabel and then talk to him about it if you think it warrants it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 10:02am
The problem is that now you're in a changed environment and you're having a hard time adapting. I'm sure he is acting different b/c now you too are together at work which is a little akward. How does he act outside of work, is he still the same?