stay or let go when she is pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
stay or let go when she is pregnant
5
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 10:56pm
Well how do I began........I have a one and a half year old kid and now a 10 week pregnant girlfriend who I think is seeing someone else.She just moved out of her moms house and in to her own apt.For right now I live 4 hour away from her and go see her and my child every weekend.We had a big fight that went all the way to court ,and now we both just realized that we both still love each other and should give it a try again .Well when she told me she was pregnant,she said that she did not want to keep it and I did.She said that she just could not do this right now and there was no way right now that we could,so after that I was like maybe she is right and I was like we can't have this.So she went back home and it seemed like her mom and her friends told her they would help.so it as like if there is going to be someone there to help me then we our have this baby!!!I was mad as hell.To me it seem that she wanted out of her mom house to getting pregnant lead to her mom saying you have to go and I will pay half of your rent and that what is going on right now!I was mad as hell and I did say some mean things.There was a time I tried to brake up because I was not happy with what was going on,but she did not want to do that,but she did say if I don't love her then someone else will.Will a few weeks ago it seem like she stop caling me as much as she did, and she seemed like she only could talk for a few sec,and one time we just did not talk to each other for a day.Well the first day at her apt I picked up her cell phone and seen that she had been talking to some guy that she was dating right before we had got back together.She had said that she quit talking to him because she said she loved me.So in her cell I had seen that she had called him and he had called her.Then in the text it it said that he was going to get a room and she said yeah ok!So when I asked her about the text she lied and she she did not text him,and the about 3 min later she said im sorry I did talk with him.She hit me with well you said you were going to brake up with me and I just need someone to talk to.Every time I bring up the text she acts as if I did not read the dam thing.What should I do?I know she is the type of girl that if one guy ain't loving her she will go some where else and get it!Now they think I should give her a ring!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 11:57pm

I would put away the ring idea for right now.

This appears to be a very unstable and rocky relationship. This is not how you start a marriage, so don't think of that right now.

With such instability, I am really worried that another baby is coming into a relationship like this. It's just not healthy.

If she wants to go and find love elsewhere, I guess there is nothing you can do. A ring will not lure her back. It takes two people to make it work. Besides when you are dating, you're supposed to be looking for a partner that meshes well on all levels. Crazy fights that lead to court are just WRONG. This relationship seems very broke.

"We had a big fight that went all the way to court"
I'm curious - what was the fight that lead to a court visit?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 12:35am
Well she moved back in with her mom and she was just acting crazy.Being in her mom house it was hard on us being together.There was time i could not hold my own baby.So it was just all bad at that time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 3:32am

Well sir, first of all you do know how babies are made don't you? Listen, this is very irresponsible to be bringing babies into the world when you have no stability for them. Truthfully, they will most likely have a hard way to go, and that's on both of you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 1:00pm
coconut2010 Thank you for all the help that you given me.But you are not reading my post or what lol.Sound like I hit her ha ha.I never hit a woman in my life!She had this thing where she could not understand that I had just as much as a right to cuddle with my baby as she did.So I took her to court so she could understand the right I had to for my kids!Yes being immature had a lot to do this,but dope and booze has nothing to do with it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 7:11pm
I apologize. When you said you got into a fight that ended up in court that's what it sounded like to me. Well then in general I would say yes, marry her. And go to marriage counseling. Just my opinion but I feel like the kids usually have the best start in life if their parents are together. Even if the relationship has problems, in my opinion barring any extreme problems, it's still better. Good luck.
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