the story of the last year of my life is epic lame.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2011
the story of the last year of my life is epic lame.
7
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 4:12pm

Hi All,

This is the first time i have ever posted on a message board/blog etc. I am in so much pain, that a google search bought me to this place. So i guess i am reaching out to

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I won't say that he's not into you.

But a man who can't let his guard down and is so damaged by past relationships that he isn't willing to take a risk getting to know someone new, that's not someone who is not worth the investment of your time or effort. We've all been hurt by love before, it's not an excuse to shut someone out who is trying to get to know you. If he's so hurt that he can't function in the dating world, he needs therapy...

This guy sounds too damaged and bitter to be worthwhile. I probably would not bother with him, because you're going to be battling his bitterness regardless of how much he says he likes you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2011

that is very true. thank you so much for reading my post!!!

Do you have any advice on how to move on? I just don't like people very often, and feel like I will never meet anyone ever again that I liked as much, or works as well as we would?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
"But a man who can't let his guard down and is so damaged by past relationships that he isn't willing to take a risk getting to know someone new, that's not someone who is not worth the investment of your time or effort. We've all been hurt by love before, it's not an excuse to shut someone out who is trying to get to know you. If he's so hurt that he can't function in the dating world, he needs therapy..."

I was going to say the same exact thing! Men who keep up walls and have little hope in happy couples don't make good spouses. Keep telling yourself he wasn't a good pick.

"I just don't like people very often, and feel like I will never meet anyone ever again that I liked as much"

Why don't YOU like people very often?
How old are you?
Why don't you think you'll feel that much for another person again?
Do you believe you are unlucky?

Sure you can miss the communication with another person. Missing him doesn't mean he was the one though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2011

sorry for the delay i had no internet connection and was trying to avoid IM'ing him! ha. didnt work, as soon as i got to work today i texted him - no reply. brutal.

The reason i dont like people very often is I am just not one of those girls who gets excited over a cute guy, I dont know why I am like that, I meet single good looking guys when I go out with my friends every weekend and i feel nothing? I want to, i want to like people but it takes a lot for me to get to this point, so this guy i really liked because we connected on so many levels including a warped sense of humor. ugh, i am such a cliche!

I just feel like I am not that typical girl that every guy wants to date, I am really focused on my career and the reason I liked this guy too, was he was exactly the same, a lot of the guys i meet are not looking for that in a girl. I just feel like I am one of the unlucky ones who will die alone. I get that i am a tad dramatic too lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2011

Oh and I am 31 :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Will power woman! Or you like to throw yourself at unavailable, hard to reach men? Are they safer to you so you never really have to open yourself to a man?

"The reason i dont like people very often is I am just not one of those girls who gets excited over a cute guy"

This makes no sense. Maybe you're a girl that doesn't gush and swoon over cute guys as if she were 14, but that doesn't have to mean you don't like people and there fore something is wrong with you. You shouldn't shoot to be that typical girl that men want - because that is nonexistent. Shoot to be the best YOU that you know how.

Here's a quick good read for you:
Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong - by Barbara De Angelis

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2011

Thats true actually, I am probably just not allowing myself to be open to people, and after falling for this guy it makes me feel like i will never meet anyone i will like as much again!

But i will get over it, because i have no choice. He has left me with no option i am not going to spend my life playing games!

I really appreciate your advice and taking the time to listen to me! I will definitely grab that book - clearly i need all the help i can get! Ha!