Take Him Back?
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Take Him Back?
| Mon, 09-12-2005 - 3:49pm |
Looking for advice from women who may have been in similar situations: I dated a man for 6 months that I fell deeply in love with and could very well have seen myself marrying. Six months into the relationship he told me that he needed time for himself as he was going through many transitions in his life - finishing graduate school, ended a long relationship right before meeting me, etc. At first he just wanted to take a break, but after much talking it turned out he really just wanted to break up with the hope of getting back together when he was more able to give me what I need. I have maintained that I have no desire to be his friend and that if he comes back, he better mean it. Now 4 months after the break-up he has made contact again and wants to "keep in touch". Do I dare believe what he said - that he just needed his time and once he'd gotten himself together, we would be together again? He has made a very weak, cautious gesture to "keep in touch" and I know he's protecting himself. But how much should I protect myself without playing games?
Advice ever-so-appreciated.
Advice ever-so-appreciated.

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Considering that he told you he just wants to "keep in touch" that's something that FRIENDS do, not lovers. Well, maybe FWB'ers do it too, but lovers do far more than just "keeping in touch". I'll say to friends "keep in touch" as a way of reminding them to take a few minutes to say hello every now and again so I'll know they're still alive. See my point?
If he truly wanted to get back together with you, trust me, he wouldn't be saying "keep in touch". He'd be saying and doing a whole lot more to let you know just how much you mean to him and that he'd be lost without you.
Be friends with him or "keep in touch" if you want, but look elsewhere to meet the next love of your life.
All the best,
Heymum
I don't get the impression that he's asking to *come* back...it sounds like he's asking if you'll reconsider your decision not to be friends.
I would be very upfront and ask him outright: do you want to get back together, or are you asking me to be friends?
Sheri