Taken for Granted?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
Taken for Granted?
1
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 5:35pm

How can I get my boyfriend to appreciate me more? I always feel that he takes my love for granted, and that he fails to be attentive to me because I'm usually always the one taking the initiative in areas like planning dates, visiting him and contacting him.
I know that he cares for me, but does the fact that he lacks initiatve mean that he cares for me less than I do for him?

Plus, he's quite a reserved person, and doesn't talk about his thoughts and feelings about our relationship.
How can I get him to open up and provide me with some affirmation of how he feels for me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 7:19pm
I say take a step back in initiating everything and let him intiate some. I think when you do all the work the guy begins to naturally take you for granted and think that he can step all over you in a sense. He probably doesn't do it intentionally, it's just that men are used to being the pursuers and when the women pursue they are not getting the challenge and the hunt that they are biologically driven to do and then begin to take advantage of us. You can't really get a man to open up. You can encourage it by asking questions and giving positive feedback when he does open up but if he has difficulties communicating it will probably always be that way in a sense.