together 4 months and I'm STILL a secret

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2006
together 4 months and I'm STILL a secret
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 12:43pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 4:22pm
Hi Suzi, I'm not sure why he's hiding you, and I don't condone the ultimatum thing, but I do understand how frustrating it must be for you. I think this article answers your question very well, since it's a situation similar to yours:,,doyenne_32q5,00.html


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 5:39am
Well Cool, I don't like the looks of this. First of all, at four months, no, you don't know eachother very well at all. You don't even know where


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 2:15pm

You opened up way too much and way too soon. Remember if he REALLY wanted to date you and be with you, he wouldn't be afraid of it. It sounds like he's clearly NOT over the ex-wife quite yet, and his head is NOT in the right place for a REAL relationship. Bottom line, it's bad timing for him to be with you. Cut your losses NOW, before it goes any further.

He's even said to you that he's NOT in a relationship and it's too soon. You guys are only dating, and it's not serious (i.e. a relationship).

One really big thing to remember in this is that YOU need to let a man chase you, and not the other way around...which is what you are doing.

If you need to tell him something, just say that you are done playing 2nd and clearly he's not ready for a relationship. Cut off all communication with him and MOVE ON. If a man has interest in you, he would have give himself ample time to get over his last RL before getting into a new one, and you wouldn't have to 2nd guess whether your 1st or 2nd. Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 9:41am

If he was divorced last summer that's almost a year ago; the “too soon” to get into a relationship excuse doesn’t fly.

You said you “found” a love text from his ex-wife – how?